Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs of the economy in the USA from 1960 to 2020

Overall,the amount of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors experienced a upward trend while the manufacturing and agriculture sectors showed a downward trend.

In 1960,economy in manufacturing was 15 millions.It was the highest contributing sector.It expereienced a significant rise in 1980 and rose to 20 millions.However it dramatically fall in 2000 and continued to the end of the period it reached approximately 13 millions in 2020.contribution of agriculture was almost 11 millions in 1960 it slightly decrease in tne next two decades and reached approximately 8 millions.It gradually decrease and hit the lowest point at the end of the period.

In 1960 the economic contributions of retail and healthcare was approximately 3 and 6 millio ns respectively at the initial parts otf the period.BOth are showed a upward trend .they slightly increase in next 20 years a nd rose to 5 and 10 millions respectively.these figures are increase gradually at the end of the period and rose to approximately 16 m illions it was the highest contribution among all sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and falling employment in manufacturing and agriculture, and you include several relevant figures. However, important data are misreported: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 11 million, and falls to about 2 million, rather than around 8 million. Retail begins at about 6 million, while healthcare begins at about 2 million; these starting figures are reversed in your account. The overview also says manufacturing declined throughout, although it first rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980. These inaccuracies weaken the summary of key features, and some comparisons—especially the eventual convergence of retail and healthcare at around 16 million—could be stated more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture and retail with healthcare is a sensible way to organise the information. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several trends and figures are crowded into long sentences. For example, the manufacturing account moves from 1980 to 2000 and then 2020 without clear sentence boundaries. Linking words such as “However” and “while” are attempted, but connections are occasionally unclear or mechanically placed. Use shorter, complete sentences and organise each sector’s figures in chronological order to make comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “significant rise,” “reached,” and “lowest point,” showing an attempt to describe change rather than simply list figures. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “number of jobs of the economy,” “highest contributing sector,” and “economic contributions” for employment figures. Repetition of “rose” and “increase” also limits precision. Spelling errors, including “expereienced” and “decrease” where “decreased” is needed, further reduce control. Aim for precise terms such as “employment,” “number of jobs,” “peaked at,” and “declined,” and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use both simple and more complex forms, including contrast with “while” and “However,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur in verb forms and agreement: “it dramatically fall” should be “it fell dramatically,” and “Both are showed” should be “Both showed.” Other examples include “the economic contributions … was” and “these figures are increase,” where the verb forms do not match the subject or intended tense. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, as in the extended manufacturing sentence that runs through several time points. These recurring errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to understand. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and divide descriptions into complete sentences.

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