Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
the line graph provides information about the number of jobs in your four sectors of the economic in the usa between 1960 and 2020.
it can be see. the jobs slightly increase over the period. however dramatically decrease the jobs while the highest increase healthcare and the fewst increase agricultural.
in 1960. manufacture stood 15 jobs in millions then rose rached to 20 in 1980.after that dramatically decreased reached to 17 jobs slightly dropped reached 13 jobs in 2020.Retial which stood 5 jobs dramatically rose reached to highest level then slightly dropped reached to 14 jobs in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify the graph’s subject and include some relevant manufacturing figures, noting its rise to 20 million in 1980 and subsequent decline to 13 million by 2020. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: “the jobs slightly increase over the period” does not describe all sectors, and the claim that manufacturing “dramatically decreased” overlooks its initial rise. The response gives little or no account of healthcare and agriculture, and the retail figures are inaccurate: the chart shows about 6 million in 1960, rising to 16 million in 2020, not 5 and 14. The task is only minimally covered, and the required minimum length is not met. Add a clear overview and compare all four trends using accurate key figures.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response, moving from an introduction to a short overview and then to details about manufacturing and retail. Time markers such as “in 1960,” “in 1980,” and “in 2020” help show sequence. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview is unclear, the response ends without covering two sectors, and several ideas are joined without clear sentence boundaries. For example, the manufacturing description runs through several changes in one long sequence. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and key details, and group related sectors so comparisons are easier to follow. Clearer punctuation and linking would make the organisation more coherent.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increase,” “decreased,” “rose,” and “stood,” so the reader can recognise that the graph shows changes over time. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the report less clear, such as “manufacture” for the sector, “Retial,” and “fewst.” Phrases such as “the highest increase healthcare” and “slightly dropped reached” are also not natural ways to describe the data. Aim for accurate sector names and standard trend collocations, such as “employment in healthcare rose” or “the figure fell to.” Greater precision would help distinguish a peak, a gradual change, and an overall trend.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts simple statements and some sequencing, but grammatical control is inconsistent and the range of sentence structures is narrow. Examples include “it can be see,” which needs a passive form, and “the jobs slightly increase,” where the verb form does not fit the past period. Several clauses lack a clear subject or verb, as in “then rose rached to 20,” while the long manufacturing sentence needs clearer sentence boundaries and punctuation. These errors sometimes make relationships between events difficult to understand. Practise complete past-tense sentences, for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then fell to 13 million by 2020,” and check articles and punctuation when editing.
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