Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The given graph illustrates the change in growth of four sectors of the economy mainly manufacturing, retail, agriculture and helathcare in the US over the time period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that the number of jobs in sectors which increased rapidly were retail and healthcare whereas manufacturing and agriculture reduced at the same time.

Healthcare was seen to be the fastest growing sector out of the four sectors even though being at the bottom with amost 2.5 million jobs in 1960 it expanded rapidly and till 2020 became one of the biggest sector among the four creating more than 15 million jobs.

Retail also expanded and reached the same heights as healthcare though in 1960 retail had more than 5 million jobs which is twice as much as healthcare, on the other hand agriculture sector seemed to have similar number of jobs as retail but till 2020 the number of opportunities in agriculture sector reduced making it the least expanded sector.

Manufacturing sector was in boom in 1960 with 15 million job opportunities but eventually till 2020 it declined to almost 13 million, though the jobs might have reduced still the market of manufacturing sector does not seem dead at all.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main contrast accurately: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall. The overview is clear, and the response supports it with relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and its fall to about 13 million by 2020. You also correctly note that healthcare grows from the lowest starting point to joint-highest by the end. Some comparisons are less precise: agriculture and retail had similar employment only in 1960, not throughout the period, and saying agriculture was the “least expanded” sector is unclear when it actually declined. The comment that manufacturing’s market “does not seem dead” is informal and not a useful data-based conclusion. More precise comparisons across the years would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall shape: an introduction, a summary of the main trends, and paragraphs describing the sectors. Ideas generally progress in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “whereas,” and “on the other hand” help signal comparisons. This gives the report a coherent arrangement. However, some sentences carry several comparisons and qualifications at once, particularly the retail-and-agriculture sentence, making the relationship between the figures less easy to follow. The repeated use of “till 2020” also makes the progression feel somewhat mechanical. To make the organisation more controlled, group the two rising sectors together and the two declining sectors together, and use clearer references to specific years when comparing them.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “expanded rapidly,” “declined,” “fastest growing,” and “reduced.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the meaning remains clear despite some inaccurate or informal expressions. However, several phrases are not natural for an academic graph report: “change in growth,” “same heights,” “least expanded,” and “the market … does not seem dead.” There are also spelling errors in “helathcare” and “amost,” and “job opportunities” is less precise than referring to the number of jobs. Aim for accurate trend language and standard spelling, and avoid conversational or evaluative wording that is not supported by the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and “though,” and most of the message is understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, but they rarely prevent the reader from following the trends. For example, “even though being at the bottom” is not a well-formed clause; use “although it was the smallest sector” instead. In “one of the biggest sector,” the noun should be plural, and “the number of opportunities … reduced” would be clearer as “the number of jobs … fell.” The long sentence beginning “Retail also expanded” joins several ideas with commas and “on the other hand,” so it needs clearer sentence boundaries. Check clause structure, agreement, and punctuation when editing.

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