Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 is given in the graph. The graph shows various trneds in all the sectors of occupation varying differently each.
The most demanding jobs in 1960 was manufacturing with 15 millions people being working in that field,which later on went on increasing to 20 millions in 1980 and then gradually went on decreasing to around 12 or 13 millions by the year 2020. Retail and Agriculture fields started with same number 6 millions approximately , wherein ,retail sector too a leap to 15 millions in the year 2000 ,then remained steady after that till 2020. On the other hand agriculture took a downstep in the yaer 1980 to 2-3 millions and remained constant till 2020 after that. Healthcare being the most popular sector has rose up from 2 millions to 15 millions with no fall in the year from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, all the sectors made a major significane in the economy of the US, except agriculture which made a downfall.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main movements in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 and healthcare growing from 2 million. However, some comparisons are incomplete or inaccurate: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020 rather than remaining steady at 15 million, and healthcare also ends at about 16 million, not 15 million. The overview that agriculture was the exception is relevant, but “all the sectors made a major significance” does not clearly summarise the overall pattern. To strengthen the response, give a precise overview of the contrasting rises and falls, and compare the leading sectors at the end of the period.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has an overall sequence, moving from manufacturing to retail and agriculture, then healthcare, before a concluding overview. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand” help signal a contrast, and the information is generally understandable. However, the first paragraph combines several series in a dense block, and the final overview is separated without clearly drawing together the key comparisons. Some connections are also awkward or unclear, particularly “remained constant till 2020 after that,” which makes the timeline difficult to follow. Organise the report into a clear introduction, overview and two data-focused paragraphs, grouping related trends together and using time references consistently.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary, including “gradually,” “decreasing,” “remained steady” and “downfall,” showing an attempt to describe trends rather than simply list figures. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report: “most demanding jobs” does not mean the sector with the most jobs, “took a leap” is informal, and “made a major significane” is unclear. There are also spelling errors such as “trneds,” “yaer” and “significane.” Aim for precise, neutral trend language and check spelling and collocations. This will make your descriptions clearer and more appropriate to the academic task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence that contrasts retail with agriculture. The main trends can usually be understood, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “The most demanding jobs … was” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “15 millions people being working” has errors in number and verb construction. In “Healthcare … has rose up,” the verb form is incorrect, and “Retail and Agriculture fields started with same number” is missing an article. Punctuation spacing and comma use are also inconsistent. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and agreement, and build longer sentences from simpler, correctly controlled clauses.
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