Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.It is given in millions.

Overall, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector showed upward trend in 1980 and with the remarkable decline in 2000 and 2020.Similarly, agriculture sector jobs were reduced over a given period.Conversely, jobs in other two sectors were increased over a given period.

Although, 15millions job were given to the graduates of relevant field in manufacturing sector in 1960 and their number falls at 12 millions.About 7 million jobs were at retail sector in 1960 with their number surged at 16 million in 2020.With 2 million jobs were given to candidates and it

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad directions of change: manufacturing rises before falling, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare grow. However, the report is incomplete and does not give a clear, accurate overview of the main comparisons. For example, manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980, while retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020; these key features are not fully reported. Some figures are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020, not 12 million, and retail starts at about 6 million, not 7 million. The final sentence is unfinished, and the response is 101 words, below the required 150; 18 words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count. Add the missing data and complete the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, an overview paragraph, and a paragraph beginning with specific figures. The contrast marker “Conversely” also signals a relationship between trends. However, the ideas do not progress coherently enough: the final paragraph shifts between sectors and ends abruptly at “and it,” leaving the information unfinished. The overview repeats general trends without connecting them to the most important comparisons, and “Although” introduces a clause that is not completed or clearly contrasted. Use separate, logically ordered paragraphs for the overview and the detailed comparisons, and ensure each sentence is complete and linked to the point before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “decline,” “reduced,” and “surged,” so the reader can identify the general subject and direction of change. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or collocations are unnatural or inaccurate, such as “about the number of jobs,” “jobs were given to the graduates,” and “their number falls at 12 millions.” These expressions make the data description less precise and sometimes obscure what the figures represent. Prefer neutral chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “stood at,” “rose to,” and “fell to.” Varying accurate verbs and nouns for increases, decreases, and stable periods would make the report clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and more complex structures, including “Although…” and “Conversely…,” but control is inconsistent. Several sentences contain errors that make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “Although, 15millions job were given…” has an incorrectly formed opening clause, and “With 2 million jobs were given to candidates and it” is incomplete. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and tense, as in “manufacturing sector showed upward trend” and “their number falls.” Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, including missing spaces after full stops. Build complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check tense consistency and singular/plural forms.

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