Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The illustrated line graph gives information on the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 to 2020. Overall, the number of jobs offered by the healthcare and retail sector increased remarkably, while the manufacturing and agriculture sector faced a decline with the manufacturing sector experiencing a significant downfall.

To begin with, incase of the manufacturing sector in 1960 it offered jobs to 15 million workers. This proportion increased gradually and reached a maximum of 20 million in 1980, after which it started to decline and accounted at 17 million in 2000 and fell further to 13 million by 2020. Similarly, for the agricultural industry the proportion of jobs offered in 1960 was 6 million. However, this figure gradually dropped to 4 million in 1980 and remained stable till 2000, after which it slightly fell to 2 million by 2020.

In contrast, the number of jobs offered by the retail and healthcare sector saw substantial growth. For instance, in 1960 the health care sector accounted at 2 million, while the retail sector accounted for 6 million. This proportion gradually rose and by 1980 the healthcare sector recorded an average of 5 million while the retail sector recorded an average of 10 million. Moreover, by the the year 2000 this proportion surged to 11 million and 15 million respectively. Eventually by 2020 this proportion peaked at 16 million for both sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response selects the main trends and gives a clear overview: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after peaking. It supports these points with relevant figures across the period, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the two growing sectors reaching 16 million in 2020. The agricultural figure for 1980 is given as 4 million, whereas the chart shows about 3 million; this is a small but avoidable inaccuracy. The overview’s description of manufacturing as experiencing a “significant downfall” is somewhat overstated, since it declines from 20 to 13 million after 1980. More precise comparisons and measured wording would strengthen an otherwise well-selected account.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised into a clear introduction and overview, followed by paragraphs grouping the declining sectors and the growing sectors. This creates a logical progression, and signposts such as “In contrast” help distinguish the trends. However, some linking and reference choices are repetitive or unclear. “This proportion” is used several times without a precise referent, particularly in the final paragraph, where it is not immediately clear whether it refers to jobs or the figures for both sectors. “Similarly” also links manufacturing and agriculture despite their different patterns. Use more varied, explicit references—for example, “the number of agricultural jobs”—and connect comparisons according to the actual relationship between the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased gradually,” “remained stable,” “decline,” and “surged.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the writer attempts more formal phrasing. However, some collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: sectors do not usually “offer jobs to” workers in this context, and figures do not “account at” a number. “Recorded an average of” is also unsuitable for single data points, while “significant downfall” is imprecise and overly dramatic. Repeated use of “proportion” further limits precision because the chart reports numbers of jobs. More natural trend vocabulary and accurate collocations would provide greater flexibility and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including time clauses such as “after which it started to decline” and contrastive clauses beginning “while.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors persist. The opening phrase “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern; write “between 1960 and 2020.” In “the manufacturing and agriculture sector,” the plural subject requires “sectors,” and “accounted at 17 million” should be “stood at 17 million” or “accounted for 17 million.” The phrase “by the the year 2000” contains a repeated article. Review preposition patterns, agreement, and proofreading for duplicated words while retaining the varied sentence structures already attempted.

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