Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the line graph illustrates the information regarding number of jobs in the mentioned economy sectors between 1960 to 2020 in US. starting with the was manufacturing it was 15% in1960 after that seen slight rose in it and goes to 20% in 1980 then it was immidately decreased by 13% in 2020.retail follow the upword trend in mentioned years it ups from 6% in 1960 and stopes to 16% in last year. agriculture there was 6% jobs in first mentioned year then it goes dwon by 2% in 2020. in the heathcare seen impressive growth it was 3%in 1960 and ends with 16% in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and report the broad direction of change, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak and agriculture’s decline. However, the response only minimally fulfils the task: it has no clear overview comparing the main patterns, and most figures are presented without enough detail. Some data are inaccurate: manufacturing falls to about 13 million by 2020, not “decreased by 13%”; healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3%; and the graph measures jobs in millions, not percentages. Retail reaches about 16 million, while healthcare also reaches that level by 2020. The response is also 45 words below the required minimum. Add a concise overview and accurately compare the key endpoints and turning points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a basic sequence, moving through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, so the reader can identify which sector each sentence concerns. However, there is little overall progression beyond listing sectors, and the opening does not lead into a clear overview. Linking is limited and sometimes awkward: “after that,” “then,” and “in the mentioned years” do not clearly show the relationships between the trends. The text is also presented as one continuous block, with no paragraphing to distinguish an overview from supporting details. Organise it into an introduction, an overview of the main comparisons, and a paragraph grouping the detailed figures; use clear links such as “by contrast” and “while” where appropriate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “line graph,” “trend,” “growth,” “decreased,” and “ends,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the report less clear or natural. For example, “stopes to 16%” is not an appropriate way to describe a rise, and “impressive growth” is evaluative rather than precise. Repeated references to “mentioned years” also sound unnatural. Take care to use the graph’s unit: “million jobs,” rather than percentages. More precise trend language and accurate spelling would make the comparisons easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to report changes using past-tense verbs, for example, “it was 15% in 1960” and “it goes down by 2% in 2020.” However, the response relies mainly on short, loosely connected clauses, and errors are frequent enough to make some relationships difficult to follow. The opening phrase “starting with the was manufacturing” is incomplete, while “there was 6% jobs” has an incorrect sentence pattern. Tense use is inconsistent, as in “it was” followed by “it goes,” and several clauses lack clear subjects or punctuation. Practise complete sentences with a consistent past tense, such as “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million in 2020.”

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