Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph chart illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,the jobs of agriculture has decreased significantly whereas healthcare sector has increased throughout the period of time given.However, the demands of jobs in retail and healthcare has also remained relatively stable from 1960 to 2020.

The healthcare sector has increased approximately 3 millions of jobs to 16 millions which is a huge change whereas; In agriculture field about 6 millions people to 2 millions which shows how this fi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the broad direction of change in agriculture and healthcare, and the opening establishes the chart’s subject and period. However, the response is far too incomplete to summarise the main features: it gives no account of manufacturing, and the claim that retail and healthcare remained stable contradicts the graph, as both rise substantially. The healthcare figure is also described as increasing by about 3 million, although it rises from roughly 2 million to 16 million. The final sentence is cut off, leaving the comparison unfinished. The response contains 73 words, below the required 150; this prevents adequate coverage of the task. Include a clear overview and accurate comparisons across all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory sentence is followed by an overview and then a paragraph with figures. Linking words such as “Overall” and “whereas” show an effort to connect contrasting trends. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview contains a contradictory statement about retail and healthcare, and the final paragraph ends mid-sentence (“which shows how this fi…”). Punctuation spacing is also inconsistent, making the text less fluent to read. To improve, use separate, complete paragraphs for the overview and key details, group related sectors together, and ensure each comparison is finished before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “sector,” “decreased significantly,” “increased,” and “relatively stable,” so the topic is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as “the demands of jobs” and “in agriculture field.” “Huge change” is vague for an academic summary, while “millions of jobs” is used with inconsistent number forms. The unfinished phrase at the end also leaves the intended meaning unclear. Aim for precise terms for employment figures and trends, and vary verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” and “declined” rather than relying on general wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both a complex contrast (“whereas…”) and a longer sentence with a comparison, showing some willingness to use more than simple statements. However, errors are frequent enough to make parts difficult to interpret. For example, “the jobs of agriculture has decreased” has subject–verb disagreement, and “the demands … has also remained” has the same issue. The phrase “from 1960 to 2020” is followed by a sentence that does not clearly complete its structure, and the final clause is unfinished. Punctuation is also poorly controlled, with missing spaces after full stops and an awkward semicolon after “whereas.” Practise complete, accurately structured sentences before adding complex clauses.

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