Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this paragraph i will discuss about number of jobs in the US from 1960 to 2020. first i will talk about the manufacturing sector jobs In 1960 there were 15 million jobs in it and in 1980 the number of jobs increased from 15 million to 20 millon. In 2000 jobs opportunities decreased from 20 million to almost 17 million and after that in 2020 it droped even more to almost 13 million. Coming to retail jobs there were almost 6 million jobs in 1960 after that job opportunties increased from 6 million to 10 million in 1980 and in 2000 jobs in retail sector were 15 million and in 2020 it was aroud 16 million. If we talk about agriculture jobs It was more in 1960 and was aroud 6 million after it had fall to 4 million in 1980. It was same in 2000 and in 2020 it had further fall around 3 million. In healthcare sector there were jobs around 3 million in 1960. in 1980 jobs opporunities increased from 3 million to 5 million. In 2000 there was significant increase in jobs from 5 million to 10 million and in 2020 it increased more to 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report the main direction of change in all four sectors, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak before declining and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, some figures are inaccurate: agriculture is about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, not 4 million in 1980, and healthcare is about 2 million in 1960 and 11 million in 2000, rather than 3 and 10 million. The response also lacks a clear overview that draws out the key comparisons, such as manufacturing starting highest while healthcare and retail finish joint highest, and agriculture remaining lowest. Much of the response lists each year in turn, so the main features are only partially highlighted. Add a concise overview and check figures against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a generally understandable sequence, moving through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, and time references help readers follow the changes. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with no distinct introduction, overview or body sections. Repeated transitions such as “first,” “Coming to,” and “If we talk about” make the progression feel mechanical, while the repeated year-by-year pattern limits comparison between sectors. Grouping the information into an opening overview and two organised detail paragraphs would make the structure clearer. Use linking expressions to show contrasts and similarities—for example, compare the rising healthcare and retail figures with manufacturing’s later decline—instead of relying mainly on repeated sequencing phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the broad trends, including “increased,” “decreased,” “sector,” and “significant increase.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise. “Jobs opportunities” is repeated and is not the most natural way to describe the figures; “employment” or “the number of jobs” would be clearer. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “millon,” “droped,” “opportunties,” “aroud,” and “opporunities.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy and polish. Aim for precise trend language and check spelling carefully; vary verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” and “remained stable” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate the sequence of changes using mostly simple clauses and some longer sentences joined with “and” or time phrases. This gives the response a basic range, but complex structures are limited, and errors recur. For example, “after it had fall to 4 million” has an incorrect verb form, while “in 2020 it droped” uses the wrong past-tense form. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent: “first” begins a sentence in lowercase, and “In 1960” is followed by an unnecessary capital in “In 1980” within the same sentence. Some sentences run together, making the structure harder to read. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and use full stops to separate trends clearly.

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