Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. About 5millon jobs available in agriculturein the year 1960 which graphycally reduced to about 3 millionjobs on the year 1980 and about 2million by the year 2000 and the year 2020. While in healthcare, the jobes available is about 2million in the year 1960 which which letter increased to 5million in year 1980 and to 10 million in year 2000, finally to 15 millonjobs in year 2020. In retail there is about also about 10million jobs in year 1980 which letter increased to 15 million jobsin year 2020.Inmanufacturing, in year 1980, the manifacturing jobs was about 20 million . by the year 2000, teh jobs reduced to 15 millon and letter in the year 2020, it still reduced more to low below 15 million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and report several broad movements, including manufacturing peaking around 1980 and healthcare rising over time. However, the response is incomplete: it has 124 words, below the required 150, and it lacks a clear overview of the main comparisons. Some figures are inaccurate: agriculture is about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and falls to about 3 million by 1980, then 3 million in 2000 and 2 million in 2020; your account places the 2-million figure too early. Retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, while manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Add an overview and report the key endpoints and turning points accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a broadly understandable sector-by-sector order, and linking words such as “While,” “finally,” and “by the year 2000” help show sequence and contrast. However, it is presented as one continuous paragraph without a clear overview or paragraph structure, so the reader has to infer which trends are most important. Some links are inaccurate or confusing, especially “which which letter increased” and “In retail there is about also about,” while the manufacturing details are not clearly connected to the earlier comparisons. Organise the report into an introduction, a concise overview, and grouped detail paragraphs. Use simple, precise transitions to compare trends rather than repeating the same year-by-year pattern.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant basic terms such as “jobs,” “increased,” “reduced,” and “about,” so the general subject is usually recognisable. However, the vocabulary range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the report less clear, including “graphycally,” “jobes,” “millon,” and “manifacturing.” Phrases such as “jobs available” and “reduced more to low below 15 million” are not natural ways to describe figures on a graph. Use accurate trend language and vary it appropriately: for example, “the number of jobs fell,” “rose steadily,” or “stood at approximately.” Check spelling carefully, and avoid repeating “about” when a more direct description would be clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example by using “While” and “which,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors and years being discussed. However, the response relies on a narrow set of sentence patterns, and errors are frequent enough to make some relationships difficult to follow. Examples include “the jobes available is,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “which which letter increased,” where the clause is not grammatically formed. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or awkward, as in “in year 1980” and “on the year 1980.” Use complete, controlled sentences with consistent past-tense verbs, and check agreement, articles, and punctuation. Shorter sentences would help you report each trend accurately.

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