Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the comparison about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy of total 60 year in the USA from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, It is evident that manufacturing jobs starting with highest at the beginning of the year and raise their number of jobs till 1980 and then number of jobs slightly declined. Healthcare opportunities are lesser at strat of year but sharply fluctuated at the end.

Manufacturing jobs starting with highest number of jobs in million respective to other at about 15 million. Manufacturing jobs raise significantly at about 20 millions in year 1980 but their number of jobs in million are declined dramatically at end of year 2020. Retail jobs initial with 5 millions in number of jobs in 1960 then their number of jobs moderately fluctucated respectivelyamong the oveall 60 year. Agriculture at the beginning remains similar to retail 5 millions but their number slightly declined with respect to year. Healthcare, strat with lowest amount among all jobs 3 millions in numbers but their numbers of jobs in million increases sharply at the end of year is about 16 millions in number in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing starts highest, peaks in 1980 and then declines, while healthcare rises to about 16 million by 2020. You also include all four sectors and give several relevant figures. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail rises steadily from about 6 to 16 million, rather than “fluctucated,” and agriculture falls from about 6 to 2 million, with a plateau around 3 million between 1980 and 2000. The overview’s claim that healthcare “sharply fluctuated” is not supported; it increases consistently. The response addresses the task, but the trends and comparisons are not all reported precisely, and the overview could more clearly highlight that retail and healthcare reach similar levels by 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and a paragraph describing the sectors, so the reader can follow its general purpose. However, progression within the body is limited: the account moves from manufacturing to retail, agriculture and healthcare without grouping or comparing related trends. Several linking expressions are awkward or repetitive, including “with respect to” and repeated references to “number of jobs in million.” The overview also repeats information later rather than establishing a concise comparison of the main patterns. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture as declining after their early figures, and retail and healthcare as rising—and use straightforward links such as “whereas” and “by contrast.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “declined,” “increases sharply” and “highest,” but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the description imprecise. “Healthcare opportunities” is not the same as healthcare jobs, and “fluctuated” incorrectly describes retail’s steady rise. Phrases such as “raise their number of jobs,” “initial with” and “at strat of year” are unnatural or unclear; spelling errors such as “fluctucated” and “oveall” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise chart language and avoid repeating “number of jobs in million.” For example, use “employment rose,” “reached a peak,” “remained stable” and “fell gradually” where they match the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “Manufacturing jobs starting with highest” needs a finite verb and article, while “their number of jobs in million are declined” has an incorrect verb form and agreement. The sentence beginning “Overall, It is evident” also has an unnecessary capital after the comma. Some sentences combine several ideas without clear grammatical control, as in the description of retail. Practise accurate past-tense reporting (“rose,” “fell,” “remained”) and build comparisons with complete clauses, such as “Retail employment rose steadily, whereas agriculture declined.”

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