Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates amount of employment in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare branches of the economy in the USA between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, employment provided by healthcare and retail sectors showed drastic upward trend while agriculture and manufacturing areas demonstrated downward trend in the figures.

At the beginning of the period, healthcare employed USA citizen by around 2 millions of job. It then rose to 5 millions to 11 millions within 1980 to 2000. After this, the number continued to rise significantly, reaching 16 millions by the end of year. Similarly, retail branch of economy in USA hired an individual from 6 millions in 1960 to 10 millions in 1980, which was continued to surged in hiring from 15 millions to 16 millions between 2000 to 2020.

Meanwhile, Manufacturing industries experienced fluctuation in providing jobs. In 1960 it showed 15millions which reached peak of 20 millions before falling steadily to 13 millions in 2020. Likewise, agriculture figures demonstrated 6 millions of job in the beginning before further dropping to 3 millions in 1980 to 2020 which reached a low of 2millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response identifies the main contrast: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after an earlier peak. It also reports the key figures for all four sectors, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and healthcare’s rise to 16 million. This gives the overview a clear basis in the graph. Some details, however, are imprecise: manufacturing is described as showing a “downward trend” overall, although it first rises substantially, and agriculture is said to remain at 3 million “in 1980 to 2020” before reaching 2 million, which blurs the 2000 and 2020 values. The account is relevant and covers the task, but a more precise overview and clearer reporting of these stages would strengthen it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a sensible sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by details about the rising sectors and then the declining ones. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Similarly,” and “Meanwhile” help signal these relationships, and the reader can follow the broad progression. Some connections are less clear because the wording compresses time periods—for example, “from 3 millions in 1980 to 2020” does not clearly distinguish the 2000 figure from the 2020 figure. The repeated use of “which” also makes parts of the retail sentence difficult to track. More direct sentence boundaries and clearer references to each year would make cohesion less mechanical and improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “employment,” “sectors,” “fluctuation,” “peak,” and “steadily,” and the main trends are generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are noticeably unnatural or imprecise, such as “employment provided by” a sector, “hired an individual from 6 millions,” and “demonstrated 6 millions of job.” These phrases sometimes make the reader work to infer the intended meaning. There is also unnecessary variation between “branches,” “areas,” and “industries” when “sectors” would be clearer and more consistent. Aim for standard chart-reporting expressions and accurate forms such as “the number of jobs” and “rose from … to ….”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to use both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “while,” “before,” and “which,” and the overall meaning remains accessible. However, errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms are noticeable. For example, “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern, while “healthcare employed USA citizen” has problems with articles and number agreement. In “which was continued to surged,” the verb construction is faulty, and the long retail sentence makes the relationship between its clauses unclear. Plural forms and articles are also inconsistent in phrases such as “2 millions of job.” Use simpler, well-controlled structures where needed, and check agreement, verb patterns, and sentence boundaries.

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