Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates different jobd in four sectors in a USA from 1960 to 2020.

According to the data showen in manufacturing sactoer jobs are drametically increase from 1960 to 1980, after that its gradually decrease till 2020.Retail employment begain 5 million jobs in 1960 and grow consistently several year but in 2000 to 2020 it grow very slightly.

looking for the remaning sector healthcare started near the bottom in 1960 with only about 2 million jobs however its expand throughout the period overtaking all the sectors to reach to peak 23 million jobs by 2020.

Agricultural started at the same lavel of retail with 5 million jobs but it decline throughout the time and produced 2 million jobs in 2020.

overall, the healthcare and retail sector experienced growth in jobs numbers over the 60 years peroid, while menufacturing and agriculture fece decline.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before falling, retail grows, agriculture declines, and healthcare expands. However, several figures and comparisons are inaccurate. Healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 23 million, and it ties with retail rather than overtaking every sector. Retail starts at about 6 million, not 5, while agriculture begins at about 6 million and falls to 2 million. The overview is relevant, but saying manufacturing declined over the period overlooks its initial rise and peak in 1980. The response is also six words below the required minimum. Include a more accurate overview and support it with key figures and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall arrangement: it introduces the graph, describes sector trends, and ends with a summary. This gives the reader a basic progression through the information. However, the body moves abruptly between sectors, and linking phrases such as “According to the data,” “looking for the remaning sector,” and “overall” are either awkward or do not clearly signal the relationship between points. The healthcare sentence combines a starting point, a trend, a comparison, and an endpoint, making the information harder to follow. Grouping related trends into clearer paragraphs and using straightforward transitions—for example, contrasting the growing sectors with agriculture—would make the organisation more coherent and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “employment,” “throughout the period,” “decline,” and “peak,” and the reader can generally understand which sectors you mean. However, the range and control are limited by repeated basic wording such as “jobs,” “grow,” and “started,” as well as inaccurate or unnatural combinations like “dramatically increase” and “reach to peak.” Spelling errors—including “jobd,” “showen,” “sactoer,” “begain,” and “menufacturing”—are noticeable and reduce the precision of the report. Aim for accurate trend verbs and collocations, such as “rose sharply,” “increased steadily,” and “reached a peak of,” while checking spelling carefully. This would make your descriptions more precise and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast with “however” and a time clause in “after that its gradually decrease till 2020.” The main trends remain understandable, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries are persistent. For example, “jobs are dramatically increase” needs a past-tense form, while “its expand” should be “it expanded”; “healthcare started … however its expand” also needs clearer punctuation between clauses. The opening phrase “in a USA” has an article problem, and several sentences run together without spaces after full stops. Practise consistent past-tense reporting and punctuate complex sentences carefully. More accurate control of these patterns would make the report easier to read.

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