Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph shows the information about the numbers of 4 jobs in the economy between the US 1960 and 20220.

Here are the 4 jobs which is Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

Now we talking about the all four sectors one by one.

First one is Manufacturing : So the Manufacturing job significantly higher in 1960 and drop down the 2020.

Second one is Retail : So the Retails job significantly less in 1960 compared to manufacturing and higher in 20220.

Third one is Agriculture : Agriculture jobs significantly less in 1960 compare with both manufacturing and retail, but the equal to retails job in 2020.

Fourth one is Healthcare : Health care jobs is less any year according to this graph also 2000 jobs same as 1960 and 2020 job is less compare to 1960,1980 or 2000,

Retail prices and job much higher in 2020 because the trade to all over the world

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and make a few relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing being higher than retail in 1960 and agriculture being much lower than manufacturing. However, the response reports very few accurate trends or figures, so it only minimally summarises the graph. The claim that healthcare was the lowest in every year is incorrect: it rose from 2 million to 16 million and matched retail by 2020. The statement that its 2000 figure was the same as in 1960 is also inaccurate. There is no clear overview of the main changes, and the final explanation about world trade is unsupported by the graph. Focus on the major trends and give accurate comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence, moving through the four sectors, and labels such as “First one” and “Second one” help readers follow the order. However, this list-like structure does not create a clear overall progression from an overview to supporting details. Repeated openings such as “So the…” make the organisation mechanical, while the final sentence about retail prices and world trade is disconnected from the preceding description. Some comparisons are difficult to follow because the years and sectors are not consistently linked in a clear sentence. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with a brief overview first, would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant basic terms, including the four sector names and words such as “higher,” “less,” and “drop down,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. For example, “4 jobs” confuses jobs with sectors, “significantly higher” is not supported without a clear comparison, and “Retail prices” introduces a different topic from the number of jobs. “Retails job” and “Healthcare jobs” also show inconsistent word forms. Use precise trend language such as “increased,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “reached,” alongside accurate terms like “employment” or “number of jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use a simple subject-and-verb pattern, and the repeated sector labels provide a basic framework. However, grammatical errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships unclear. Examples include “between the US 1960 and 20220,” “the Manufacturing job … drop down,” and “Healthcare jobs is less any year.” These show problems with word order, tense, subject–verb agreement, and sentence construction. The long final healthcare sentence also joins several comparisons without clear punctuation or a complete grammatical structure. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine related information using clauses such as “while” or “whereas.” Check agreement and past-tense forms when describing the historical data.

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