Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the line graph depicts the information about the number of work in four different fields of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

overall, it is evident that healthcare and retail sector follows the incline trend while agriculture and manufacturing feild obey the decline trend in the given period of time.

After analysing the line graph deeply, it illustrates that manufacturing sector produced 15 million jobs in 1960 and reached to 20 million in 1980. after that, it started following the decline trend as in 2000 and 2020, it provided 17 milion and 13 million jobs. agriculture field also faces the downward trend as 6 million individuals were engaged in this sector which decreased and reached to 3 million in 1980 and remained constant in 2000. it again reduced by 1 million in 2020.

the healthcare and retail sector demands increased by time as in starting period of the time, the both fields provides 3 million and 6 million jobs in the economy of the US and increased by 2 million and 4 million in 1980. in 2000, retail sector reached to 15 million jobs provided to workers and healthcare went to 12 million. in 2020, the both job got combined at 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and report the main movements, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million before falling, agriculture’s decline, and the growth of retail and healthcare. The overview identifies the broad contrast between the declining sectors and the rising ones, and most figures are consistent with the graph. However, healthcare starts at 2 million, not 3 million, and reaches about 11 million in 2000, rather than 12 million. The statement that both sectors “got combined at 16 million” is unclear: they each reached 16 million. These inaccuracies and the limited explanation of how the rankings change mean some features are less fully and precisely reported, although the response already selects relevant data and gives a clear overall picture.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-part structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for manufacturing/agriculture and retail/healthcare. This makes the main comparisons easy to locate, and time markers such as “in 1960,” “after that,” and “in 2000” help establish sequence. Some linking is mechanical or imprecise, however. “After analysing the line graph deeply” adds little, while “the both fields” and “the both job got combined” make the relationships between the sectors unclear. The final paragraph also moves between the two series without consistently distinguishing them. Use direct comparisons and clearer references—for example, state separately that each sector reached 16 million—to make cohesion more controlled and progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “reached,” “decline,” “remained constant,” and “increased,” so the trends are generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise: “number of work,” “fields obey the decline trend,” “faces the downward trend,” and “the both job got combined.” Spelling errors such as “feild” and “milion” also reduce accuracy. Some repetition of “sector,” “trend,” and “jobs” limits flexibility, while phrases such as “analysing … deeply” are not appropriate for describing a graph. Aim for concise, conventional reporting language, such as “employment in agriculture fell” or “the figures for retail and healthcare converged.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including time clauses and comparisons, and the reader can usually follow the intended trends. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction recur. For example, “healthcare and retail sector follows” needs plural agreement, while “the both fields provides” has both an unnecessary article and an incorrect verb form. “Manufacturing sector … reached to 20 million” also shows an inaccurate grammatical pattern, and the long final paragraph contains several clauses that are difficult to control. Capitalisation after full stops is inconsistent. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build shorter sentences around one clear comparison; then add subordinate clauses only when their grammar remains secure.

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