Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the the information about the job market for four different sectors-manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare over the period from [redacted phone].

To bein with, the manufacturing industry which was creating 15 million jobs in 1960 rose to 20 million in 1980 where it touched its peak followed by the downtrend where it dropped to approximately 16 million and 13 million by 2000 and 2020 respectively.In addition to it,Agriculture sector which was producing almost 6 million jobs in 1960 dropped to near 4 million by 1980 where it remained same for the next two decades before falling to almost 3 million in 2020.

On the other hand,Retail and healthcare sectors continued to show an upward trend untill reaching their hype in 2020 where around 16 million jobs were created by each sector.Furthermore,Healthcare sector was the least job provider in 1960 by providing almost 3 million jobs,similarly retail sector was producing the same jobs as agriculture was producing in 1960 but after that both there sectors showed an incredible growth before hitting their peak in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, agriculture falling overall, and retail and healthcare rising to about 16 million jobs by 2020. However, the response lacks a clear, separate overview that summarises the main contrasts across all four sectors. Some details are also inaccurate: agriculture is shown at about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, not nearly 4 million, and healthcare starts at about 2 million rather than 3 million. The claim that retail and healthcare both reached their peaks in 2020 is broadly supported, but the comparison would be stronger if you noted that healthcare overtook manufacturing by 2020. More precise reporting and a concise overview would make the key features clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a generally coherent sequence: it first describes manufacturing and agriculture, then turns to retail and healthcare. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “Furthermore” help signal these shifts, and the reader can follow the broad progression. This organisation is effective, though the paragraphing and connections are not fully controlled: the final sentence repeats the upward-trend and peak information rather than adding a distinct comparison, and “similarly” does not clearly connect the two sectors that follow. A clearer overview at the start, followed by grouped comparisons, would strengthen progression. Use linking devices to show precise relationships between trends rather than relying mainly on general transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “downtrend,” “dropped,” “upward trend,” and “peak.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and phrases such as “job provider” show an attempt to vary expression. However, some wording is imprecise or unnatural for a data report: “hype” is not the correct word for a high point, and “creating jobs” or “producing jobs” is less suitable than describing the number of jobs in a sector. There are also spelling and spacing slips, including “untill” and “bein,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, conventional chart language and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of sentence forms, including complex clauses with “where,” “followed by,” and “before,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some grammatical and punctuation errors remain, but they rarely prevent understanding. For example, the opening has a duplicated article in “the the information,” while “which was creating 15 million jobs” uses an awkward tense for reporting a chart. Several sentences run together without spaces after commas or full stops, and the final sentence’s “both there sectors” has an incorrect determiner. Improve control of articles, tense choices, and sentence boundaries, and proofread punctuation. More consistently accurate complex sentences would make the report easier to read.

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