Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This graph shows the information of four sectors which is Manufacture,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare about their number of jobs in us between 1960 and 2020.

1:The manufacturing jobs in 1960 is high then the others sectors and 1980 it improves their number make the record jobs of 1980 and suddenly they decrease their jobs in low level of 1960.

2: The Retail jobs in 1960 is low then manufacturing jobs butt they improve their work in job sector repeatedly and increase the jobs number in 1980 then manufacturing jobs, its a big success of this sector.

3:The agriculture sector jobs in 1960 is equal to retail sector butthis sector have downfall thery loss theri jobs every year and in 1980 this sector have low jobs year and the downfall year.

4: The healthcare sector jobs is low jobs at first in 1960 but thus sector improve every year and become a equal provide job sectoe as retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and make some relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing being highest initially and healthcare rising from a low starting point. However, the main trends are only partly reported, and several details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980, then falls to around 13 million by 2020; “decrease their jobs in low level of 1960” does not clearly convey this. Agriculture declines to about 2 million by 2020, rather than losing jobs “every year,” since it stays level between 1980 and 2000. The response also misses the key ending comparison: retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020. A clear overview of these major changes, supported by accurate figures, would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The numbered points give the response a basic structure, and each point focuses on a different sector, so the reader can follow the intended topic. However, the organisation does not develop into a clear overview followed by well-connected details. The repeated numbered format makes the report feel like separate notes, while links such as “then,” “but,” and “and” are used mechanically or join ideas unclearly. For example, the manufacturing point combines its initial position, peak, and later decline in one difficult sentence. Grouping related trends—for instance, the rising sectors together—and using clear comparisons between years would improve progression. A short overview paragraph at the beginning would also help the reader understand the graph’s main pattern.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” “increase,” and “downfall,” and the sector names make the subject clear. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the trends difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “improves their work in job sector,” “make the record jobs,” and “equal provide job sectoe” do not express the intended data clearly. There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “butt,” “theri,” and “sectoe.” Aim for precise chart language and natural collocations, such as “the number of jobs rose,” “reached a peak,” and “fell to approximately.” This would make your comparisons clearer and more appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe change over time and to connect ideas, but sentence structures are mostly simple or become difficult to control when extended. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur repeatedly: “The manufacturing jobs … is high,” “they decrease,” and “this sector have downfall.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic, as in “become a equal provide job sectoe as retail sector.” These errors sometimes obscure the relationships between the figures. Use straightforward, complete sentences with a consistent past tense for the historical data, for example, “Manufacturing employment was highest in 1960 and peaked in 1980.” Check subject–verb agreement and use articles carefully. Greater control of these basic patterns is needed before adding longer sentences.

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