Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph below illustrates the number of employment in different sectors- Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing jobs reached to its peak and declined sharply. Retail and agriculture jobs rose significantly throughout the period. In contrast, Healthcare experienced slight decrease and plaetued and fell marginally.
In 1960, Manufacturing jobs were around 15 millions, and touched its peak to, 20 millions in 1980, and decreased dramatically to approximatelly, 13 millions in 2020. The number of employment rose significantly in the sector of Retail from 5 million to 15 millions between
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response identifies the chart’s subject and gives some relevant figures, including manufacturing’s rise from about 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980 and its later fall to around 13 million. However, the overview substantially misreports the trends: retail did not rise throughout the whole period, and agriculture declined rather than rose; healthcare increased, not decreased or plateaued. The account then stops partway through the retail comparison, leaving most of the data and key comparisons unreported. It also falls 49 words short of the required minimum, which contributes to the task being only minimally addressed. To improve, provide a complete overview and describe the main movements and end-point comparisons accurately before adding selected figures.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is a basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph beginning to report details. The sequence from general description to figures is appropriate, and linking phrases such as “Overall” and “In contrast” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the overview’s contrast is confusing because it assigns the wrong trends, and the final sentence breaks off after “between,” so the report has no completed progression or conclusion to its data description. Some punctuation around figures also interrupts the flow. Organise the body into complete comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture together, then retail and healthcare—and ensure each sentence is finished and clearly connected to the overview.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “peak,” “declined sharply,” “rose significantly,” and “marginally,” and the sector names make the topic clear. There is some range in describing movement, but several choices are inaccurate or awkward: “number of employment” is not a natural phrase, “touched its peak to” is an unsuitable collocation, and “plaetued” is misspelled. “Retail and agriculture jobs rose significantly” also uses vocabulary that conflicts with the chart’s actual trends. Aim for precise, conventional expressions such as “number of jobs,” “peaked at,” “levelled off,” and “fell.” Check spelling and ensure that trend verbs match the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple and more extended sentences, including a sentence that links a peak with a subsequent decline. However, control is inconsistent, and several errors affect accuracy. In “Manufacturing jobs were around 15 millions,” the plural form after a number is incorrect; “reached to its peak” has an incorrect verb pattern; and “from 5 million to 15 millions between” is left incomplete. The overview also has agreement problems in “Healthcare experienced slight decrease and plaetued and fell,” where the subject and sequence of verbs are not handled clearly. Use complete sentences, keep “million” singular after numerals, and practise accurate verb patterns and parallel structures when describing changes over time.
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