Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates details about the number of jobs in manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare sectors in millions in the US from the year 1960 to 2020.In general the manufacturing industry show to be leading in most years while agriculture is on the lower side.

As seen,the retail industry has experienced a steady increase up until 2000 and a further climb of about one million jobs in the following two decades.Heathcare sector is also indicating a rise for the first twenty years,which rose more by approximately eleven million opportunities in the following years.

On the other hand,the agriculture sector started with a massive drop of about 4 million which experienced a constant level in the following years and indicates a slow plateaud phase later.The manufacturing sector,though leading in most seasons has shown a decline from the year 1980 which does not come up in the following seasons anf even a further decline is experienced of near to seven million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview that manufacturing was generally the leading sector while agriculture remained lowest. Several key trends are also reported accurately: retail rises to 2000 and then increases slightly, healthcare grows strongly, and manufacturing declines after its 1980 peak. However, some details are unclear or imprecise. The healthcare increase of “approximately eleven million” is not anchored to a clear period or endpoint, and the manufacturing decline “of near to seven million” does not specify the comparison; the chart shows a fall from 20 million in 1980 to 13 million in 2020. The overview could also note that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020. More precise comparisons and clearer time references would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a generally coherent sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by discussion of retail and healthcare, then agriculture and manufacturing. Linking phrases such as “In general,” “As seen,” and “On the other hand” help signal the movement between ideas. However, the organisation is somewhat mechanical, and the final paragraph combines two sectors without clearly separating their trends. Some references are also difficult to follow, particularly “which rose more” and “which experienced a constant level,” because it is not immediately clear which sector or period each phrase refers to. Use clearer topic sentences and explicit references to years and sectors, and group related comparisons more deliberately to improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “steady increase,” “decline,” “constant level,” and “approximately.” These choices communicate the main movements, and attempts such as “plateaued” show an effort to use more specific trend language. Some wording is inaccurate or unnatural, however: “show to be leading,” “opportunities” for jobs, and “in most seasons” do not fit this chart description well. There are also spelling errors, including “Heathcare” and “anf,” and “plateaud” is misspelled. Choose standard collocations such as “had the highest number of jobs” and “employment,” and check spelling and word forms carefully to make the description more precise and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “which,” and “though,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in subject–verb agreement and clause construction. For example, “the manufacturing industry show” should be “shows,” while “Heathcare sector is also indicating a rise …, which rose more” shifts awkwardly between forms and leaves the reference unclear. The opening also needs clearer sentence boundaries and punctuation. Practise maintaining consistent tense when describing past data, and check agreement, articles, and clause links. More consistently accurate sentences would strengthen the control shown in your varied structures.

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