Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the propotion information about four sectors of economy jobs in the US,comparing the year between 1960 to 2020
overall, it is clear that manufacturing and agriculture is gradually deacreases,whereas retail and healthcare recorded in the figure had highest position till 2020. Retail and healthcare rapidly boom the economy of jobs compairing manufacturing and agriculture.
looking first at manufacturing was slightly rise in 1980 but, agriculture remain steady in 1980. subsequently in 2000 to 2020 it rapidly decreases.As 13 million in manufacturing and 3 millions jobs in agriculture, As analyzing start from 15 millions and 5 million
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify the four-sector comparison and attempt an overview, noting that manufacturing and agriculture decline while retail and healthcare rise. However, the overview is partly inaccurate: manufacturing does not decrease throughout, as it rises from 15 million to 20 million by 1980 before falling, and agriculture is not described as gradually decreasing across every period. The claim that retail and healthcare had the “highest position till 2020” is unclear; by 2020 both are about 16 million, while manufacturing was higher earlier. Several figures and comparisons are missing, and the final sentence is incomplete. The response also falls 50 words short of the required minimum, limiting its coverage. Include a clear overview and report the main turning points and end values accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and a detail paragraph, and phrases such as “looking first” and “subsequently” signal sequence. However, progression is difficult to follow because the detail paragraph shifts between sectors and time periods without a clear comparison. The final section, beginning “As 13 million…”, is unfinished, so the reader cannot understand how the figures relate to the earlier statement. Linking is also limited and sometimes awkward, while punctuation and spacing make boundaries between ideas unclear. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate, logically ordered paragraphs for the main trends; connect each figure explicitly to its year and sector.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “line graph,” “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” and “gradually,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning unclear. For example, “propotion information” does not describe what the graph shows, and “rapidly boom the economy of jobs” is not a natural way to report an increase in employment. There are also spelling errors such as “deacreases” and “compairing.” Choose precise trend language and check spelling: for instance, say that employment “rose” or “increased,” and that a sector “had the highest number of jobs.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both a complex overview sentence and a sequence of past-tense descriptions, but control is inconsistent and the range remains limited. Agreement errors appear in “manufacturing and agriculture is gradually,” where the plural subject needs a plural verb, and “agriculture remain steady,” which also needs a past-tense form. The sentence beginning “looking first at manufacturing” contains a comma splice and then breaks into an incomplete construction: “As 13 million… As analyzing start…”. Articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable. These problems make some relationships between figures and trends hard to interpret. Practise complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense verbs consistently when describing the historical data.
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