Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This line graph reveals the information about the numerous jobs in four several groups of economy in the US between [redacted phone].

Overall, there were less job opportunities in the sectors of manufacturing and agriculture. Relatively retail and healthcare sectors offered maximum jobs in these years.

From 1960 to 1980, the manufacturing jobs sharply rose up to 15 to 20 million jobs, however later on it steeply slumped down after this boost. Furthermore, agriculture sector also steadily dropped the job opportunities after 1980.

On the other hand, the jobs in retail companies steeply grew from 1960 to 2000 with 15 million jobs however subsequently it had a gradual increase till the year 2020. Comparitevly, healthcare centres gave less jobs in the years from 1960 to 1980 but subsequently it dramatically rose the jobs in its sector. Till the end of 2020, it had 15 millions of jobs in this economic group

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before declining, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. The overview also attempts to compare the sectors, and the response includes several relevant figures. However, some key details are inaccurate or too general. Manufacturing reaches 20 million in 1980, so it did not rise “up to 15 to 20” from 1960; it began at 15 million. Healthcare ends at about 16 million, not 15 million, and agriculture declines from 6 million in 1960, rather than only dropping after 1980. The overview’s claim that manufacturing and agriculture had “less job opportunities” is unclear because manufacturing was the largest sector for much of the period. More precise comparisons and a clearer summary of the final ranking would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing contrasting sector trends. Phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships, and the reader can generally follow the chronology. However, progression is not always clear because several trends are compressed into long sentences, and the overview does not establish a precise comparison for the details that follow. For example, “Relatively retail and healthcare sectors offered maximum jobs in these years” is vague, while “after this boost” and “subsequently” do not always make the time relationships precise. Grouping the two declining sectors together and the two growing sectors together, with clearer time markers and comparisons, would make the organisation more controlled and cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “sharply rose,” “slumped down,” “gradual increase,” and “dramatically rose.” This gives the report a reasonable range of trend language. However, several choices are inaccurate, awkward, or repetitive: “four several groups of economy,” “offered maximum jobs,” and “gave less jobs” do not express the intended ideas naturally. “Comparitevly” is also misspelled, and “jobs” is repeated where terms such as employment or the number of positions could add precision. Some expressions, such as “steeply slumped down,” combine words that are not natural together. Aim for accurate collocations and use neutral, precise language rather than intensifying every change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including a contrast clause with “however” and time clauses beginning “From 1960 to 1980” and “Till the end of 2020.” The main trends are usually understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. For example, “there were less job opportunities” has a countable-noun agreement issue, and “the manufacturing jobs sharply rose up to 15 to 20 million jobs” has an unclear construction. In “it had 15 millions of jobs,” the plural form after a number is incorrect. Punctuation around “however” is also inconsistent, and some sentences join several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries. Practise accurate comparisons, articles and number expressions, and punctuate contrast clauses carefully.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.