Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the graph given details information of the jobs in four different departments of economy throughout the US country in the year 1960 to 2020.

differents sectors such maufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and healthcare show different graph trends in different period of time with some similar behaviour of trends.

two fields healthcare and retail rose similarly with different year,healthcare increase from 3 millions to 15 millions from 1960 to 2020. and retail increase from 6 millions to 15 millions across the same years as healthcare.however

the job in the agriculture sector in the graph revealed very decrease level from 6 millions to 3 millions across 1960 to 2020.

on the other hand, the most high proportion of job in manufacturing sector which was 15 millions in the beginning of 1960 first rose up to 20 millions from 1960 to 1980 and then dramatically decline to 13 millions in 2020.

overall,healthcare and retail rised significantly and agriculture sector decline throughout the years. while manufacturing fields jobs increased in the first 10 years and then declined dramtically.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main directions of change and include several relevant figures: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, while agriculture declines. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Healthcare starts at 2 million, not 3 million, and reaches 16 million, rather than 15 million; retail ends at 16 million, not 15 million. The overview also says healthcare and retail rose significantly, but does not clearly highlight that manufacturing was the largest sector in 1980 and that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020. The response addresses the task, but some comparisons and trends are less fully reported. Check each series against the chart and make the key end-point comparisons explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: it introduces the chart, describes sector trends, and ends with an overview. The contrast marker “however” and the phrase “on the other hand” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is not consistently clear: the overview appears at the end, and the discussion moves between sectors without a clear grouping or comparison. Some linking is mechanical, and “while” begins a final fragment rather than connecting smoothly to the preceding sentence. Organise the report into a brief introduction, a clear overview, and two body paragraphs grouping related trends. Use linking expressions to show comparisons, not simply to announce each new sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “increase,” “decline,” “proportion,” and “sector,” so the reader can generally understand the trends being described. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, such as “details information,” “very decrease level,” “most high proportion,” and “rose up.” Spelling errors, including “differents,” “maufacturing,” and “dramtically,” also reduce accuracy. Choose standard terms for describing quantities and trends, such as “number of jobs,” “fell steadily,” and “reached a peak.” Check spelling carefully and avoid using “proportion” when the chart reports numbers of jobs rather than shares.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, for example, “Manufacturing … first rose up to 20 millions … and then … decline to 13 millions.” This shows an effort to connect stages in a trend, but control is inconsistent. There are errors in verb forms and agreement (“healthcare and retail rised,” “decline” after “dramatically”), articles and sentence construction (“the job in the agriculture sector”), and punctuation, including lower-case sentence openings and a sentence fragment beginning “while.” Some sentences are difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear punctuation. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs; then check articles, plurals, and punctuation during revision.

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