Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph demonstrates the information about the jobs in different four sectors of the economy in the US between the years 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the jobs like retail and healthcare peaked in 2000 and lead to gradual growth, whereas manufacturing peaked in 1980. However, agriculture job served negatively in the US economy.

The jobs, retail and healthcare increased and peaked in 2000 at 15 millions and 11 million.Similarly, the number of job in retail remained nearly constant and increased gradually whereas the number of job in healthcare hightened smoothly peaking in 2020 at 16 million.

In comparison,the number of job in manufacturing began and peaked in 1980 at 20 millions then decreased continuously and dropped to 13 millions in 2020. Likewise, the job in agriculture initiated from 6 millions in 1960 and plummeted to 3 millions in the year 1980. Then, it remained constant till the next two decades following the drop in the jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and agriculture’s decline, and you include some figures. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: retail did not peak in 2000, as it continued rising from 15 million to 16 million by 2020, while healthcare also reached its peak in 2020 rather than 2000. The claim that both sectors “peaked in 2000” conflicts with the later details. Agriculture’s final fall to 2 million is omitted, and “served negatively” does not clearly describe its trend. The response is also 148 words, two words below the required minimum; the nine words copied from the prompt are excluded. A more accurate overview and fuller reporting of the final figures would address the task more completely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The comparison paragraph beginning “In comparison” also groups manufacturing and agriculture effectively. However, progression is weakened by the contradiction between the overview, which says retail and healthcare peaked in 2000, and the later account of their 2020 figures. The first detail paragraph is difficult to follow because it repeats “increased and peaked” and then says retail “remained nearly constant and increased gradually,” without clearly distinguishing the two series. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “Similarly,” and “Likewise” provide some connection, but their use is occasionally mechanical or imprecise. Organise the details by sector and use clear time-based comparisons to make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable selection of trend vocabulary, including “peaked,” “decreased continuously,” “plummeted,” and “remained constant,” which helps communicate the main movements. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “jobs like retail” is imprecise, “served negatively” does not express a clear trend, and “hightened smoothly” is not an appropriate collocation. Repetition of “the number of job” also limits the range, while “millions” is incorrectly used after singular figures such as 15. Aim for precise sector and trend language, and vary expressions for increases and decreases without using dramatic terms unless the change warrants them. These improvements would make the description clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including the overview sentence beginning “Overall” and the time clauses in the final paragraph. However, errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. For example, “the jobs … peaked in 2000 and lead to gradual growth” has an inconsistent verb form and unclear relationship between ideas; “the number of job in retail remained … and increased” has a singular/plural agreement problem; and “Then, it remained constant till the next two decades following the drop” is structurally difficult to interpret. There are also missing spaces after full stops and commas, as in “million.Similarly” and “In comparison,the.” Check agreement, tense consistency, sentence boundaries, and punctuation, and use shorter, controlled sentences when describing each trend.

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