Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph shows that in the year 1960 the US market had almost 2.5 million jobs in healthcare, 6 million jobs in Retail and Agriculture sector and about 15 million jobs in the manufacturing sector. But as the time passed on, the trend was changed and by the year 1980, the manufacturing sector showed an upward trend crearting a total of 20 million jobs, the retail sector also had an upward trend and there were 10 million jobs in that sector too, the healthcare sector also jumped to 5 million jobs, whereas the agriculture sector showed a downtrend and lost almost half of its available jobs, reaching 3 million jobs in 1980.

The upward trend of Healthcare and retail sector kept its dominance and by the year 2000, the Healthcare sector reached 15 million jobs and the retail sector had 11 million jobs. However, after showing an upward treand for 20 years, the manufacturing sector fell to 17 million jobs and had a downward trend. Moreover, the agricultural sector remained almost consistent during this tenure until 2000 and hadn't created any job, neither lost any.

Meanwhile, in the year 2020, the manufacturing sector continued its downward trend and the jobs fell to 13 millions only. The retail and healthcare sector continued their upward trend for more 2 decades and both sectors reached a total of 16 million jobs separately in the year 2020.

Lastly, the agricultural industry had shown a slight downward trend again and the jobs fell by almost half a million to 2.5 millions respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You report the main movements across all four sectors and include useful comparisons, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining, while retail and healthcare rise. However, there is no clear, concise overview identifying the broad pattern: manufacturing and agriculture fall overall, whereas retail and healthcare grow, with healthcare and retail ending level. Some figures are also inaccurate: healthcare is about 11 million in 2000, not 15 million, and agriculture is about 2 million in 2020, rather than 2.5 million. The opening gives several starting values, but the response would address the task more fully by prioritising the overall trends and checking key data before describing them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged chronologically, moving from 1960 through 1980 and 2000 to 2020, and paragraph breaks help separate stages. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “Meanwhile” make relationships between trends visible. At times, though, the progression feels like a sequence of year-by-year reports rather than a grouped comparison of the sectors. Some links are also mechanical or unclear: “The upward trend of Healthcare and retail sector kept its dominance” does not clearly explain what “dominance” refers to, and “Lastly” introduces the final agricultural figure without adding a meaningful relationship. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining sectors together, with a clear overview first, would make the organisation more purposeful.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “downward trend,” “reaching,” and “continued,” so the reader can follow the main changes. However, several choices are repetitive or imprecise, and some collocations sound unnatural: “kept its dominance,” “hadn’t created any job,” and “jobs fell by almost half a million” could be expressed more precisely. There are also spelling errors, including “crearting” and “treand,” and “13 millions” uses an incorrect plural form. Aim for concise, accurate reporting verbs and avoid describing a sector as dominant unless the comparison supports that claim. This would make the vocabulary more controlled and suitable for an academic summary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including longer sentences with contrast and time clauses, and the main trends are generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in longer constructions. For example, “the trend was changed” uses an awkward passive form, while “the retail and healthcare sector” does not agree with the two sectors being discussed. In “the jobs fell by almost half a million to 2.5 millions respectively,” the plural and sentence structure are problematic. Several sentences also join many details with commas, making them harder to control. Use direct forms such as “the trend changed” and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and singular/plural forms when revising.

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