Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs created in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs created in 4 different sectors in the US, manufacturing sector was highest in 1960 as compared to retail and agriculture, while faced a decrease from 1980s. The retail and healthcare sarted from a much lower point and ended up the highest job producers. Additionally, agriculture produced lots of jobs in 1960 but it face continuous decrease sincd then.

In 1960, although manufacturing hub created around 15 million job reaching to almost 20 million in 1980, since 1980 it faced steady decline. Furthermore, the agriculture created about 6 million employment opportunities in 1960 but it experienced a decline since then.

On the other hand, the retail started from around 6 million and healthcare begins with around 2.5 million but both are experiencing an increase in creating more jobs, finishing with relatively same number of jobs in the year 2020 creating around 16 millions total.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The overview also correctly notes that the latter two sectors finish as the largest employers. These are relevant, well-selected features, and the response covers the chart’s main movements. However, some details are imprecise: agriculture did not produce “lots” of jobs relative to manufacturing, and it fell from about 6 million to 2 million rather than declining continuously, since it remained around 3 million between 1980 and 2000. The final comparison is broadly right, though healthcare reaches about 16 million and retail about 16 million. More precise comparisons and clearer reporting of the intermediate figures would strengthen the support for your overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details about the declining and rising sectors. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other hand” help signal the relationships between ideas, and the reader can follow the broad progression. To make the organisation more effective, group the sectors consistently by trend and avoid repeating points already made in the overview: manufacturing’s peak and decline, for example, are stated again in the third paragraph. Some connections are also imprecise, particularly “although manufacturing hub created…” and the shift from agriculture to the rising sectors. Clearer topic sentences and more economical referencing would make cohesion smoother and less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “steady decline,” “employment opportunities,” “job producers,” and “increase,” so the main trends are understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices are unnatural or imprecise for describing a graph. “Jobs created” can suggest new positions rather than the total number of jobs, while “manufacturing hub” does not accurately name the sector. Phrases such as “created lots of jobs” and “creating around 16 millions total” are also awkward. Spelling errors, including “sarted” and “sincd,” further reduce accuracy. Aim for precise terms such as “employment,” “stood at,” “rose to,” and “declined to,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of sentence forms, including a complex overview sentence and clauses introduced by “although” and “while.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur in several sentences. For example, “manufacturing sector was highest” is missing an article, while “it face continuous decrease” has incorrect verb form and article use. In “the retail started … and healthcare begins,” the verb tenses do not match, and “both are experiencing” shifts from past chart data to the present. The final phrase “16 millions total” also has a plural-form error. Use past tense consistently for the period shown, check subject–verb agreement and articles, and simplify sentences when needed to maintain accuracy.

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