Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate the amount of employment in four sectors of economy in US from 1960 to 2020. While, line graph illustrates the relationship between the number of jobs and the years shown.

Firstly, Retail have experience a gradual increase over the period From above 5 to under 17 between 1960 and 2020.Whereas,

healthcare have steady rose from above 1 to under 17 between over the period.However, manufacturing sector face a minor increase between 20 years after that they fall and stay between above 10 to under 15. While , agriculture stay constant over the period between 1 and 5 from 1960 to 2020

overall

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies all four sectors and gives some broad trends, including rising retail and healthcare employment and a fall in agriculture. However, the account is minimal and several descriptions are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing rises to 20 million by 1980 before declining, rather than having a “minor increase,” and agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million rather than staying constant. The overview is not completed; “overall” is left on its own, so the main comparisons are not summarised. The response also contains 105 words, below the required 150, leaving important features and comparisons underdeveloped. To improve, provide a clear overview and support it with accurate figures at key years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the report, beginning with an introduction and then describing sectors, and contrast markers such as “Whereas” and “However” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several trends are crowded into one paragraph, and the final “overall” is unfinished rather than functioning as a conclusion or overview. Linking words are sometimes used inaccurately or mechanically, such as “While” at the start of a sentence without a complete contrasting clause. Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons, group related trends, and use clear sentence boundaries so the reader can follow the changes across the period.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “employment,” “increase,” “fall,” and “constant,” and the sector names are generally clear. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the report awkward: “the amount of employment,” “have experience a gradual increase,” and “steady rose.” Repetition of basic trend language also limits precision. Use standard expressions such as “the number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “remained stable,” while choosing verbs that accurately describe each series. Check word forms and spelling, including “illustrates” and “experienced,” to make the report more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few complex structures, including contrasts introduced by “While” and “Whereas,” but control is inconsistent and the range remains limited. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur in phrases such as “The graph illustrate,” “Retail have experience,” and “healthcare have steady rose.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable: there are missing spaces after full stops, and “While, agriculture…” is not a well-formed sentence. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to interpret. Practise accurate simple past forms for the historical data, subject–verb agreement, and complete sentences before adding contrast clauses. A clear pattern such as “Retail employment rose, while agriculture declined” would improve accuracy.

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