Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph given indicates the number of four different economy sector's jobs from year 1960 till 2020, in the US.

Around 15 million jobs in manufacturing were present in the year 1960, while inclining, reaching its maximum of 20 millions jobs by 1980 after 20 years, declining afterwards, but remaining at a level relative to Retail and Healthcare opporunities. Jobs in retail showed a gradual but continuous increase from 1960 till 2020 starting from 5 million to more than 15 million jobs. Graph also represents healthcare jobs where an increase is observed till 2020 but this incline is steeper than retail reaching same level as retail in same amount of time but starting at a much lower job number. Whereas the agriculture jobs show a unique pattern of decline till 1980 with a relatively constant period till 2000 and declining again till 2020.

Increase jobs in heathcare and retail vancancies, seems a good opportunity to pursue a career in respective field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several key trends: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, retail rises steadily, healthcare grows more steeply, and agriculture falls before stabilising and declining again. However, the account is only partial because it gives few precise comparisons and omits important endpoint information. For example, healthcare and retail both reach about 16 million jobs in 2020, while manufacturing falls to around 13 million; these figures would make the changing ranking clearer. The statement that manufacturing remains “at a level relative to Retail and Healthcare” is vague, and the final career recommendation is not required by the graph and does not support the summary. A clearer overview and more accurate, specific comparisons would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence, moving from manufacturing to retail, healthcare and agriculture, and the contrast marker “Whereas” helps introduce the final trend. However, the information is compressed into one long body paragraph, so the main overview is not clearly separated from supporting details. Some links are also difficult to follow: “reaching same level as retail in same amount of time” does not clearly explain which years or values are being compared. The final career comment shifts away from describing the graph and weakens the progression. Organise the response into a brief introduction, an overview of the main patterns, and focused detail paragraphs, using clear references and comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “gradual,” “continuous increase,” “steeper,” “decline” and “relatively constant,” which helps describe changes over time. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “maximum” and “opportunity to pursue a career.” However, several choices are inaccurate or awkward for this task: “inclining” is not the natural verb for a rising figure, “jobs were present” is imprecise, and “opportunities” or “vacancies” can suggest openings rather than the number of people employed. Spelling slips such as “opporunities,” “heathcare” and “vancancies” also reduce accuracy. Prefer precise chart language such as “employment,” “rose,” and “reached a peak.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex structures, including the contrast introduced by “while” and the relative clause in “a period till 2000.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some sentence structures are incomplete or awkwardly joined. For example, “Around 15 million jobs … were present … while inclining, reaching its maximum” leaves the subject of “inclining” unclear, and the long manufacturing sentence strings several changes together without a clear grammatical structure. There are also errors in number and articles, as in “20 millions jobs” and “reaching same level.” Use complete clauses with an explicit subject and consistent tense—for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then declined.”

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