Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing experienced the increased in number of jobs before declining, while healthcare and retail sectors rose significantly throughout the period. In contrast, agriculture sectore declined slightly over the period.

Looking first at manufacturing and retail sectors, manufacturing sector increased from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million jobs in 1980, afterwards it declined to around17 million in 2000, and reached at approximately 14 million jobs in 2020. Moreover, retail sector was around 6 million in 1960, afterwards it increased considerably to 10 million in 1980, and in next two decades, the number of jobs were around 15 million to 16 million.

Turning to the remaining sectors, healthcare sector was around at 2 million in the beginning, while it rose steadily to 5 million in 1980, and almost 11 million in 2000, afterwards it further increased to 16 million in 2020. In contrast, agriculture sector was also at 6 million in 1960, but afterwards it declined to 3 million, and in next two decades the number of jobs were remained relatively unchanged, and in 2020 it further decreased to around 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses the task and gives a clear overview of the main patterns: manufacturing rises before falling, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture declines. The reported figures are generally accurate, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million and healthcare’s rise to 16 million. You also make useful comparisons by grouping manufacturing with retail and then discussing the other sectors. To strengthen the report further, make the key end-point comparison explicit: by 2020, retail and healthcare were level at about 16 million, the highest figures, while manufacturing had fallen to about 13 million. The overview’s claim that retail rose “throughout” is broadly supported, but could be more precise by noting its steady growth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The report has a clear four-part structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs organised by sector. The progression from manufacturing and retail to healthcare and agriculture is easy to follow, and phrases such as “Looking first” and “Turning to the remaining sectors” guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall arrangement and shows some flexibility in linking ideas. However, several transitions are repetitive, especially “afterwards,” and the long sentences sometimes join several stages with commas, making the flow mechanical. Use a wider range of concise links and vary sentence boundaries; for example, separate the retail trend into a new sentence and use “By 2020” to signal the final comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “declined,” “rose steadily,” “increased considerably,” and “remained relatively unchanged.” These choices communicate the main trends, and the sector terminology is appropriate. There are, however, some inaccurate word forms, spelling slips and awkward collocations that limit precision: “experienced the increased” and “agriculture sectore” are examples, while “reached at” is not a natural way to describe a figure. “The number of jobs were around” is also an awkward expression. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “experienced an increase,” “the agriculture sector,” and “reached approximately 14 million.” Proofreading these details would make the vocabulary more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “while” and “but,” and the overall meaning remains clear. Some sentence patterns are handled successfully, such as “while it rose steadily to 5 million in 1980.” However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction recur. Examples include “manufacturing experienced the increased,” “the number of jobs were,” “the number of jobs were remained,” and “in the beginning.” Comma splices also appear when multiple stages are joined in one sentence. Practise forming accurate trend sentences with a clear subject and verb—for example, “The number of jobs rose to 10 million, then increased to 15 million by 2000”—and check agreement and tense consistency.

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