Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph provides the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the ecnomy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that Heathcare sector and retail sectorsignifically increased, but manufacturing and agriculture jobs were declined.

In 1960, health sector around 2 million. it rose slightly and reached 5 million in 1980. while, agriculture sector gradually decreased with approximately 6 to3 million in 1980. By comparison, manufacturing and retail sectors rapidly jumped with 15 to 20 million and 6 to 10 million in 1980.

In contrast, in 2000 to 2020 heathcare sectors remined stable with just under 2 million. Meanwhile,retail sector higest growth throughout period and end with crossed the 15 million.However, manufacturing showed dramatically fell in 1980 to 2020 with approxmately 14 million. while healthcare was grew at the end with 16 million.

In conclusion, numbers of jobs in manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980. it was higest jobs sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million in 1980 and the rise in healthcare jobs to 16 million by 2020. However, important details are misreported: healthcare did not remain stable at just under 2 million from 2000 to 2020; it rose from about 11 to 16 million. Manufacturing fell to about 13 million by 2020, rather than approximately 14 million, and agriculture declined to 2 million. The overview also says manufacturing and agriculture declined, although manufacturing first increased, while retail and healthcare both rose overall. The response is 147 words, three short of the 150-word minimum; 11 words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count. Develop the overview and check each trend against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, two detail paragraphs and a conclusion. It also attempts to guide the reader with phrases such as “Overall,” “By comparison” and “Meanwhile.” However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory sequencing. For example, the paragraph beginning “in 2000 to 2020” first says healthcare remained stable, then says it grew to 16 million, making the timeline difficult to follow. The conclusion repeats the manufacturing peak rather than bringing the main comparisons together. Some linking words, including “In contrast” and “However,” do not clearly express the relationship between the points that follow. Organise the details consistently by period or sector, and use transitions only where the contrast or continuation is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “peaked,” “gradually decreased” and “reached,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors and trends you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the report harder to understand, such as “ecnoy,” “significally,” “remined” and “higest.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “jobs were declined” and “rapidly jumped.” Repeated use of “sector” and “million” further limits variety. Aim for accurate, conventional language for describing data, such as “the number of jobs fell” or “employment rose to,” and proofread spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would also help distinguish a peak, a steady trend and a final figure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, using clauses introduced by “while” and “but,” and the overall meaning is sometimes recoverable. However, errors occur frequently and can make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include the incomplete sentence “In 1960, health sector around 2 million,” the faulty form “healthcare was grew,” and the tense and agreement problems in “manufacturing and agriculture jobs were declined.” Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “it was higest jobs sectors.” Several sentences join contrasting information without a clear grammatical structure. Practise complete subject–verb sentences and consistent past-tense forms, for example, “Healthcare employment stood at about 2 million in 1960 and rose to 5 million by 1980.” Check articles, plurals and punctuation during revision.

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