Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the data about the number of vacancies available in your different departments in the US from 1960 to 2020.The jobs data was calibrated in millions.

Hence ,from the overall analysis it is evident that while some figures experienced an upward trend,others declined over the given period.In addition, manufacturing industry had offered more jobs except last year, whereas agriculture had released the lowest vacancies.

By analysing,it is clearly seen that in 1960, manufacturing industry had 15 million jobs,it's surged to 20 million in the upcoming year after it vacancies dropped continuously in upcoming years and only below 15 million jobs are provided by this department in the last year.besides this in 1960,retail industry was released almost above 5 million employment ,it rose significantly till 2000 and noticed at 15 million job for people,it remained stable till 2020 with almost 15 million employment chances .

Looking at the graph in more detail, agriculture jobs were above 5 million in the starting year ,whole it dropped considerably in the upcoming years and plunged to below 5 million employment chances.

However,in contrast healthcare the figure of jobs available in this department were below 5 million and it increased dramatically till 2020 and it hit the highest peak in 2020 at above 15 million job recruitment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline after their earlier levels, while retail and healthcare rise. You also report several relevant figures, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare reaching its highest level in 2020. This covers the task well, with some features more fully reported than others. However, a few comparisons are inaccurate or too vague: retail rises to about 16 million by 2020 rather than remaining at 15 million, and manufacturing is not the largest sector in 2020, as retail and healthcare are both around 16 million. Agriculture’s figures also need clearer reporting, especially its low, broadly stable level from 1980 onward. A more precise overview and accurate end-point comparisons would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. This gives the reader a coherent overall arrangement, and phrases such as “In addition” and “Looking at the graph in more detail” signal shifts between points. However, progression within sentences is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the manufacturing description, where several changes are joined together without clear punctuation. Some linking is mechanical or imprecise, such as “Hence” and “However, in contrast,” and the references to “this department” and “the figure” are not always clear. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, then using shorter sentences to compare their end values, would make the relationships easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “declined,” “rose significantly,” and “increased dramatically.” These choices help communicate the broad movements in the graph. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural for this task, such as “vacancies available in your different departments,” “released the lowest vacancies,” and “employment chances.” The chart reports jobs by economic sector, so these phrases make the description less precise. “Plunged” also overstates agriculture’s gradual decline, while “upcoming year” is not a natural way to refer to a later data point. Aim for accurate collocations such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in the retail sector,” and “fell to around two million.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the overview and longer descriptions of changes over time. However, control is uneven, and errors in sentence construction, tense, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. For example, “it's surged to 20 million … after it vacancies dropped” has an unclear pronoun and faulty clause structure, while “the figure of jobs available in this department were” has subject–verb disagreement. Several sentences run together, and spaces around commas and full stops are inconsistent. Use past simple consistently for the historical data, check that each clause has a clear subject and verb, and divide long descriptions into shorter, accurately punctuated sentences.

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