Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph illustrate regarding data the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the jobs in millions highest number of manufacturing in different years, while the lowest figure agriculture.
According to the line graph number of jobs manufacturing of the economy in the US are reduce was 15 in 1960, the highest number in 1980 gradually increase was 20, while in 2000 number of jobs was decline 17, in 2020 this figure dropped was 13. In contrast, the retail number in 1960 was 6, in 1980 number of jobs rose up were 10, whereas in 2000 sharply increase reach peack of 15, in 2020 this number slowly enhance was 16.
On the other hand, The number of jobs agriculture in 1960 was 4, in 1980 the number rapidly dropped was 3 in 2000 this figure remained stable, in 2020 this number lowest was 2 . In addition, the healthcare in 1960 was 2 in 1980 rose up around 5, while in 2000 the number rapidly increase reach the peack of 12, in 2020 the number was 16.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You cover all four sectors and report several key movements, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before falling, and retail and healthcare rising to 16 million by 2020. The overview also identifies agriculture as the lowest sector, which captures an important feature. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing was highest only up to 2000; by 2020, retail and healthcare were joint highest. The agriculture figure for 1960 is given as 4 rather than approximately 6, and healthcare in 2000 is reported as 12 rather than about 11. The account is mainly a sequence of figures, with limited comparison between sectors. A more precise overview and accurate selection of comparisons would make the response more complete and clear.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group manufacturing and retail separately from agriculture and healthcare. This makes the information reasonably easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “On the other hand” help signal shifts between series. However, the progression within the body paragraphs is often mechanical, as each year is listed in sequence, and some links do not clearly express the relationship between the figures. For example, “On the other hand” introduces another pair of sectors rather than a direct contrast. Use clearer comparisons and vary how you connect related trends so the organisation feels less like a list.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “figure,” “remained stable,” “dropped,” and “rose,” and the reader can generally identify whether a sector increased or decreased. However, the range is limited and several word combinations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “number of jobs manufacturing,” “rose up were,” and “slowly enhance.” “Peack” is also misspelled, and repeated use of “number” and “figure” makes the description less precise. These errors sometimes make the intended trend harder to understand, particularly where several verbs are combined in one phrase. Choose one accurate trend verb for each change and use standard collocations such as “the number of jobs in manufacturing” and “reached a peak.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
You attempt to describe changes using longer sentences and time clauses, but control of sentence structure is weak. Many clauses combine incompatible verb forms, as in “the highest number in 1980 gradually increase was 20” and “in 2000 number of jobs was decline 17.” There are also recurring problems with agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries: “The given line graph illustrate” and “the healthcare in 1960 was 2 in 1980 rose up around 5” are examples. These patterns can make the relationships between figures difficult to follow. Build each comparison around a clear subject and verb—for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then fell to 17 million in 2000”—and check tense consistency and punctuation.
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