Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates provide the detail about the number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sectors of the communities in the US in 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that, there were four sector of economy. Whereas, the job of Manufacturing dramatically decrase over the period. While, Retail and Agriculture both were significantlly grow however, Healthcare fluctuated over the period.

To being with Manufacturing job, in 1960, the vacancy of job approximately 15 Millions. While, it rapidly rise in 1980 around 20 Millons and showed a donword trend in 2020 near by 13 Millions. In addition, in 1960 Retail and Agriculture both same at the year just over 6 Millions as well as Reatil was experienced a significant increase just under 16 Millions at the end. Whereas, Agriculture fluctuated in all the year and sharply fall in 2020 approximately 3 Millions.

Moreover, in Healthcare sector, in 1960 just 3 Millions. It gradually rise in 1980 exact 5 Millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising to about 20 million in 1980 before falling to around 13 million, and retail reaching nearly 16 million by 2020. However, the overview is unclear and contains inaccurate trend descriptions: retail and agriculture did not both grow, since agriculture declined overall, and healthcare did not fluctuate but rose steadily. The account also stops after healthcare reaches five million in 1980, omitting its strong growth to about 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. Agriculture’s final figure is given as about three million rather than two. Select the main overall patterns accurately, then cover the full period for each sector.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “Moreover” signal transitions. However, progression is uneven: the manufacturing and retail/agriculture details are grouped together, while the healthcare paragraph ends after 1980 and leaves the later figures unreported. Several linking expressions are awkward or contradictory, including “Whereas” and “While” at the start of sentences, and “In addition” does not clearly show the relationship between the figures that follow. Organise the body by clear comparisons or by sector, and use connectors only when their logical relationship is clear. This would make the sequence easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “dramatically,” “trend,” “increase” and “fluctuated,” and the sector names are generally clear. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “the vacancy of job,” “the communities,” and “both were significantly grow.” Repeated use of “Millions” and “job” also makes the description less precise. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “decrase,” “donword,” “Millons” and “Reatil,” which reduce clarity. Use standard data-reporting phrases such as “the number of jobs,” “employment rose,” and “fell to,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use time phrases such as “in 1960” and “in 1980,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction occur frequently: “Retail and Agriculture both were significantly grow” and “it rapidly rise” need correctly formed past-tense verbs, while “the vacancy of job approximately 15 Millions” is not a complete sentence. There are also problems with articles, plurals and agreement, as in “there were four sector” and “Healthcare sector, in 1960 just 3 Millions.” Some sentences begin with subordinating or contrastive words such as “While” or “Whereas” but are left as fragments. Practise complete past-tense sentences and vary sentence patterns while checking agreement and articles.

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