Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the data of the US economy between 1960 and 2020 of the numbers of job in manufaturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

To sum it up, manufacturing recorded the highest number from 1960 but seen an slightly decrease in 2020. Similar with agriculture, that recorded a decrease of percentage from the same year 1960 to 2020. In contrary to healthcare and retail, both of them recorded a steadily increase between 1960 to 2020.

Manufacturing recorded 15% as the highest sectors of job in 1960 and rose to 20% in 1980, but in 2000 to 2020, the data decrease continously until it reached 13%. Likewise in agriculture, it shows a similar pattern to manufacturing recorded at 5% in 1960 but end up 2% in 2020.

Meanwhile, healthcare and retail shows a substantial increase. Retail start at 5% in 1960 and peaked to 15% in 2000 and show slightly increase to 16% in 2020. Similar to healthcare from 2% in 1960 it soar high to 16% in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response identifies the main overall patterns: manufacturing rises before declining, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. It also selects useful comparisons, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and the similar endpoint of retail and healthcare. These features are generally grounded in the graph, but several figures are reported as percentages rather than jobs in millions, and some values are inaccurate: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5, while retail starts at about 6, not 5. The overview also says manufacturing had the highest number from 1960, which is not true throughout the period because retail and healthcare reach about 16 million by 2020. More precise units and a clearer account of the changing rankings would make the summary more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details about the sectors. Linking expressions such as “Meanwhile” and “Similar to” help signal comparisons, and the reader can follow the broad progression. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear: “Similar with agriculture” and “In contrary to healthcare and retail” do not express the relationships smoothly, while the overview repeats the same rise-and-fall information later. The manufacturing and agriculture paragraph also combines unlike trends without clearly separating them. Grouping the declining sectors together and the growing sectors together, then using more precise transitions, would improve progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant task vocabulary, including “recorded,” “peaked,” “substantial increase,” and “decrease,” so the main trends are usually understandable. However, the range and control are uneven, with repeated reliance on “recorded” and “increase,” and several inaccurate or unnatural choices. “Decrease of percentage” is not appropriate for describing the number of jobs, and “the highest sectors of job” is unclear. There are also spelling errors such as “manufaturing” and “continously,” alongside awkward collocations such as “soar high.” Use precise terms for quantities and trends, and check spelling and word forms. This would make the description more natural and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including contrasts with “but” and “Meanwhile,” and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “manufacturing … but seen an slightly decrease” lacks a correctly formed verb and article, while “both of them recorded a steadily increase” has agreement and word-form problems. “Retail start” and “healthcare and retail shows” also need appropriate present or past-tense forms and subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “Likewise in agriculture” is structurally incomplete. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build comparisons as complete sentences; this will improve control without sacrificing variety.

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