Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information that the number of jobs in four different sectors of economy in the U.S over the duration of 60 years between 1960 and 2020.
Overall it can be clearly seen that the healthcare sector had experienced the most significant growth and reached at the highest position at the end of the period as compared with manufacturing sector showed a huge decrease for the purpose of giving jobs between 1960 and 2020.
According to the given line graph the least number of jobs in healthcare center was approximately 2.5 million. while, the retail and agriculture sector stand at second position provide 6 million jobs among population. on the other hand manufacturing sector provide vast amount of jobs almost 15 million jobs in 1960 in U.S.
It is apparently seen that between 1980 and 2020 manufacturing sector dramatically decreased and provide least amount of jobs at the end of the period approximately 12 million. while, retail and healthcare sector increased rapidly and reached top position provide huge amount of jobs was almost 16 million jobs. On the other hand agriculture sector fluctuated and record the lowest decrease and reached 2 million for the purpose of giving jobs to support economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the broad pattern that healthcare grew substantially and manufacturing declined after its peak, and you include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and agriculture at 2 million in 2020. However, the overview is not fully accurate: healthcare did not finish alone at the highest level; it and retail both reached about 16 million. Some details are also unclear or inaccurate, including describing agriculture as fluctuating when it was broadly declining, and saying manufacturing provided the fewest jobs at the end, although agriculture was lower. To strengthen the response, compare the four sectors more systematically and report the key turning points, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and retail’s steady rise.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details about the starting and ending periods. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is uneven: the third paragraph jumps between sectors, and the final paragraph combines several trends without clearly separating the comparisons. Linking expressions such as “on the other hand” and “while” are repeated and sometimes do not establish a clear contrast. Organise the body by grouping related trends—for example, manufacturing and agriculture’s declines, followed by retail and healthcare’s growth—and use references such as “the former” only when their meaning is unmistakable.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “sector,” “growth,” “decreased,” and “reached,” so the main trends can generally be understood. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, but several expressions are unnatural or imprecise, such as “at the highest position,” “for the purpose of giving jobs,” and “record the lowest decrease.” Repetition of “huge amount” and “provide jobs” limits the range and makes the description less precise. Choose vocabulary that describes chart movement and quantities directly: for example, say that employment “rose to” a figure or “fell to” a level. More accurate collocations and less repetition would make the report clearer and more natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “as compared with” and “while,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in phrases such as “the retail and agriculture sector stand” and “manufacturing sector provide”; the past-tense description calls for forms such as “stood” and “provided.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, as in “2.5 million. while,” and several sentences run together or lack clear structure. Articles and plural forms are sometimes missing or inconsistent. Practise building accurate past-tense sentences around one comparison at a time, then check subject–verb agreement, capitalisation after full stops, and punctuation before submitting.
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