Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the data in terms of number of employment in four economical areas in US from the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail sector rose over the period , whereas manufacturing fluctuated between the period. In contrast, agriculture remained at lower level throughout the period.

Commencing from, manufacturing was 15% in 1960, it peaked in 1980 and accounted for 20%, in 2000 it was just above 15% and 2020 it further dropped between 10 and 15%. Subsequently, retail sector markedly climbed over the period starting from almost 5% in 1960, followed by 10% in 1980, 15% in 2000 and 15% in 2020.

Furthermore, in 1960 healthcare accounted for 3%, it went upward in 1980( 5%), it surged above 10% and stood at close to 15%. In contrast, agriculture was at above 5% in 1960, it went downward in 1980 stayed as same 2000 and in 2020 it slightly pleatued.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad patterns: healthcare and retail increase, manufacturing reaches a peak before declining, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail at 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. However, some details are inaccurate or incomplete: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15; healthcare rises to about 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, rather than “close to 15”; and agriculture falls from 6 to 3, stays level, then drops to 2 million. The overview is relevant, but “manufacturing fluctuated” is less precise than describing its rise and subsequent fall. More accurate final values and clearer comparisons would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. The broad grouping of manufacturing and retail, followed by healthcare and agriculture, helps the reader follow the account. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast” and “Furthermore” also signal relationships between ideas. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear: “Commencing from” does not lead naturally into the manufacturing figures, and “in 1960 healthcare accounted for 3%, it went upward…” joins separate statements with a comma. The final agriculture sentence is compressed, making the sequence of decline, stability and further decline difficult to follow. Use clearer sentence boundaries and organise each sector’s figures in a consistent chronological pattern to make progression more fluent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “peaked,” “markedly climbed,” “surged” and “dropped,” and the reader can generally understand the comparisons. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “number of employment,” “economical areas,” “remained at lower level” and “slightly pleatued.” The repeated use of “accounted for” and “period” also limits flexibility. In addition, the graph reports jobs in millions, but the response repeatedly uses percentages, which is an inappropriate label for the data. Aim for precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “sectors,” “million” and “remained the smallest,” and check spelling and collocations before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some sentences contain multiple clauses joined without suitable punctuation or conjunctions. For example, “manufacturing was 15% in 1960, it peaked in 1980…” is a comma splice, as is “in 1960 healthcare accounted for 3%, it went upward…”. There are also errors in articles and sentence construction, as in “remained at lower level,” and punctuation is inconsistent around dates and parentheses. These issues make parts of the report less controlled, even though the main trends can be understood. Separate the data points into complete sentences or use accurate linking clauses, and check articles, commas and sentence boundaries.

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