Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

the graph illustrates that the given information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020. here, named as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

overall, in beginning the job of manufacturing is on the top rank begin with 15% whereas healthcare begin with last at 2% compare to both, retail and agriculture begin mid at 6%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify the four sectors and report some starting figures, including manufacturing at 15 million jobs, healthcare at 2 million, and retail and agriculture at 6 million each. These details are broadly accurate, but the response does not summarise the graph’s main changes or compare the sectors over time. It gives no figures after 1960, so key features—such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, while retail and healthcare rise—are missing. There is also no clear overview of the overall trends. The response is substantially below the required 150 words, which leaves the task only minimally addressed. To improve, write a concise overview and select several accurate comparisons across the full period, rather than describing only the starting point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph and sectors, then gives a brief comparison of their positions at the beginning. The opening phrase “overall” also signals an attempt to provide an overview. However, the ideas are not developed into a clear report, and the two sentences do not establish a progression through the years or group related trends. The phrase “compare to both” makes the relationship between the sectors difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the main details, and organise the latter by contrasting rising sectors with declining ones. Linking expressions such as “by contrast” and “while” can help make those comparisons clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant basic terms, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” and “healthcare,” and the reader can identify the subject of the report. However, the vocabulary is limited and some phrases are not natural for describing a graph: “on the top rank,” “begin with last,” and “begin mid” make the comparisons less clear. “Number of jobs” is also more accurate than describing the figures as percentages, since the chart measures jobs in millions. Build a wider set of precise trend expressions, such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “reached a peak,” and “remained stable,” and use “million jobs” when reporting values.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts connected sentences and uses “whereas” to contrast manufacturing with healthcare, showing some ability to link ideas. However, sentence structures are very limited, and errors in sentence formation and verb patterns are noticeable. For example, “the given information about the number of jobs” does not form a complete, natural opening clause, while “in beginning the job of manufacturing is on the top rank begin with 15%” has an unclear structure and inconsistent verb forms. The second sentence also lacks clear grammatical relationships between its clauses. Practise accurate simple overview sentences first, then add comparisons using patterns such as “Manufacturing stood at…, while healthcare had…” and “Retail rose from… to…”.

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