Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph illustrates the information about the rise and fall of employment number in the four different sectors of US from 1960 to 2020.

First of all, the manufacturing sector is showing the flactuatation.

If we compare, we can see a big rise from 15 million jobs to 20 million jobs but the number of jobs dropped in 2000 and made a figure of 13 million.

Secondly, the jobs in retail sector rose sharply and the figure increased from 5 million to 16 million over the years.

Third secotor is agriculture and it decreased marginally through out the years. Last sector is healthcare and this sector showed the surge performance from 1960 to 2020, number of jobs increased from 3 million to 16 million.

In conclusion, the manufacturing sector has gained a great number of jobs among the rest of sectors however, this sector showing the flactuation but has a good number. Other sectors did not gain such number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to 1980 and healthcare’s overall growth. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing reached 17 million in 2000 and then fell to 13 million by 2020, rather than dropping to 13 million in 2000. The overview is also misleading when it says manufacturing “has gained a great number of jobs” and that other sectors did not gain a similar number; by 2020, retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million, above manufacturing. Agriculture’s decline is noted but not quantified, and the response does not clearly summarise the main comparisons across the period. Select the most important start and end figures and give an accurate overall picture.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable sequence: an introduction, descriptions of the four sectors, and a concluding statement. Signposting such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “Last sector” helps readers follow the order, and the main topic remains clear. However, the organisation is somewhat mechanical, with each sector treated separately rather than grouped to show useful comparisons. The conclusion repeats an inaccurate claim instead of synthesising the trends. Some links are also awkward, particularly “If we compare,” which does not specify what is being compared, and “In conclusion” introduces a point that conflicts with the figures. Grouping rising sectors together and contrasting them with declining agriculture would create clearer progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “rose sharply,” “decreased,” “increased,” and “surge,” so the general trends are understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Flactuatation” is misspelled and “showing the surge performance” is an awkward collocation; “employment number” is also less natural than “number of jobs.” Repetition of “sector,” “number of jobs,” and “figure” limits flexibility. Use precise trend language, such as “peaked at,” “declined to,” and “remained stable,” and distinguish a rise over the whole period from a temporary fluctuation. More accurate vocabulary would make the comparisons clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You communicate the basic trends using a mixture of simple statements and some longer structures, such as “If we compare, we can see…” and “the figure increased from…to…”. However, there are recurring problems with sentence construction and verb forms. “The manufacturing sector is showing” is an awkward tense choice for a completed historical period, while “this sector showing the fluctuation” lacks a finite verb. The sentence about manufacturing also joins several ideas without clearly marking the time sequence. Articles and prepositions are sometimes missing or awkward, as in “in retail sector” and “from 1960 to 2020, number of jobs increased.” Use past-tense verbs consistently, add necessary articles, and form complete clauses; these changes would improve accuracy while retaining your range of sentence types.

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