Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare jobs follows upward trend over the period, while Manufacturing fluctuates and decreases by the end. Moreover, Agriculture accounted for less number of jobs.

At the beginning of the period, Retail jobs stood at approximately 2 million. Then this increase to 5 million in 1980 and follows upward trend throughout the period. After this, healthcare jobs at 5 million in 1960. Then this rose to 10 million in 1980 and follows upward trend over the period. Finally, both retail and healthcare opportunities stood reached 16 million by 2020.

Similarly, at the beginning of the period Manufacturing accounted for highest number of jobs (15 million) .Then this rises to 20 million in 1980 and after this we see downfall of job oppurtinities in this sector and reached to 13 million by the end. After this, Agriculture jobs stood at 6 million in 1960. Then gradullay decreases to 3 million by 1980 and maintain constant number of jobs throught the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You provide a relevant overview, identifying the broad rise in retail and healthcare, the decline in agriculture, and manufacturing’s rise followed by a fall. You also include several useful figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and ending at 13 million. However, some key data are misreported: retail began at about 6 million, not 2 million, and healthcare began at 2 million, not 5 million; their 1980 figures were about 10 and 5 million respectively, rather than the reverse. Agriculture is described as remaining constant after 1980, but it falls to about 2 million by 2020. Correcting these details and making the comparisons more precise would make the summary more complete and reliable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. This makes the main stages easy to locate. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is weakened by repeated sequencing phrases such as “Then,” “After this,” and “Finally,” which make the account sound mechanical. The grouping also leads to unclear references: “After this, healthcare jobs at 5 million in 1960” does not clearly connect to the preceding retail figures, and the retail and healthcare data are effectively switched. Use clearer topic sentences and group the two rising sectors together, then compare manufacturing with agriculture. More precise links between sentences would improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “fluctuates,” “decreases,” and “stood at,” so the reader can understand the general movement in the graph. However, some expressions are repetitive or imprecise, particularly “jobs” and “number of jobs” throughout, and phrases such as “downfall of job opportunities” are not natural for describing a falling figure. There are also spelling errors in “oppurtinities” and “gradullay,” and “accounted for less number” is an awkward collocation. Aim for more accurate chart language, such as “employment,” “declined,” and “remained stable,” while checking spelling and choosing natural combinations of words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in verb forms and agreement occur in several sentences. For example, “Retail and Healthcare jobs follows” should use a plural verb, while “Then this increase to 5 million” needs a past-tense form. The phrase “Finally, both retail and healthcare opportunities stood reached 16 million” combines incompatible verb structures; use “both stood at 16 million” or “both reached 16 million.” There are also punctuation and sentence-boundary problems, including missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent spacing before punctuation. Practise maintaining past tense and checking each sentence for a complete, correctly formed verb phrase.

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