Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the knowledge about the digits of vacances in four organizations of the financial system in us along 1960 and 2020.

The line graph describes four ferms and their names are manufacturing sector, retail ferm , agticulture department and healthcare department respectively. initially, in 1960, manufacturing department provided 15 million jobs. moreover, from 1960 to 1980, number of jobs were increased from 15 millions to 20 millions. however, this tend went with a degrading number in 2000, from 20 millions job opportunities to 16 millions vacances. therefore,average after 2000 continously decreased with the number of 16 millions to 13 millions in 2020.

on the other hand, Retail ferm gived the 6 millions job opportunities in 1960 and this ratio of jobs continously increased to 10 millions of their number in 1980. likedly that in 2000 this ratio went at 15 millions.

however, gradual changed in ratio was seemed in 2020 with the number of 16 millions.

The third one was agriculturel organaization, that offered 6 million vacances of jobs in 1960. However, in 1980, they offered only 3 millions opportunities and that number of jobs stayed constant at the number of 3 millions. in 2020 this rate becomed with a minor change in number of 2 millions .

lastly, healthcare departmet offered 2 millions jobs in 1960 and this ratio icreased constantly towards 5 million in next 20 years. in 2000 this average went on 12 millions and in 2020 the ratio becomed 16 millions.

finally the ratio of manufacturing and agriculture department decreased and the average of retial ferm and health care department increased.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the broad pattern: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. Several key figures are accurate, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture falling from 6 million to 3 million. However, there are some inaccuracies: manufacturing is given as 16 million in 2000 rather than about 17 million, and healthcare as 12 million rather than about 11 million. The overview is placed at the end and is quite general; it would be clearer to state the main comparisons upfront, especially that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020. Some trends, such as the healthcare rise and the manufacturing decline after 1980, could also be described more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement, moving through the four sectors and ending with a brief summary of the contrasting trends. Paragraph breaks help distinguish the series, and connectors such as “on the other hand,” “however,” and “lastly” show some awareness of how to link information. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, with repeated “however” and “in 2020” constructions, and the overview comes only at the end rather than guiding the reader from the start. Some links are unclear or illogical, such as “therefore, average after 2000,” which makes the manufacturing trend difficult to follow. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining sectors together would make comparisons easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary related to employment and change, including “provided,” “increased,” “decreased,” and “stayed constant.” However, word choice and spelling errors are frequent enough to make parts of the report awkward or unclear. Phrases such as “knowledge about the digits of vacances,” “four ferms,” and “financial system” do not accurately describe the graph, while “vacances” is repeatedly used where “jobs” or “positions” is needed. There are also misspellings such as “agticulture,” “organaization,” and “departmet.” Aim for precise, conventional chart language rather than unusual substitutions: for example, say “the number of jobs” and “the healthcare sector.” This would improve clarity and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some longer sentences, and the reader can generally understand the trends. There are, however, recurring errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “number of jobs were increased” should be “the number of jobs increased,” and “this rate becomed” should be “this figure became” or, more naturally, “the figure fell.” The sentence “therefore,average after 2000 continously decreased” lacks a clear grammatical subject and has awkward punctuation. Plural forms are also inconsistent in phrases such as “15 millions job opportunities.” Use the past simple consistently for the historical data, check subject–verb agreement, and build each sentence around a clear subject and verb.

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