Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs among four sectors of the US economy, namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture,and healthcare, between 1960 and 2020.

Overall manufacturung was the highest employment sector in the earliest years, reaching its peak in 1980. while retail and healthcare experienced upward trend having said that, agriculture sector shows a massive decrease over a period.

in 1960 manfacturing employed approximately 15 million people, compared with around 6 million in retail and agriculture. In 1980, the number of manufacturing jobs has risen to 20 million, making it the leading sector. However, the figure significantly dropped down to about 17 million in 2000, and approximately 13 million in 2020. Retail sector shows a consistently change in employment around 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000, to reaching its peak by the end of the period.

Healthcare also showed positive change in employment growth, rising from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, and then climbed to approximately 11 million in 2000, and reaching 16 million in the 2020. By comparison, Agriculture sector employment dropped from 6 million in 1960 to approximateky 3 million in 1980, remaining constant until 2000, then fall down to approximately 1 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You select the main features and support them with relevant figures: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before declining, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture falls. The overview identifies manufacturing as the leading sector early on and notes the contrasting trends, giving the reader a clear summary of the graph. Most reported values match the data. One notable inaccuracy is the final agriculture figure: you give approximately 1 million, whereas the chart shows about 2 million. The overview could also state the important end-point comparison more explicitly: retail and healthcare both reach roughly 16 million in 2020, overtaking manufacturing. Overall, the task is addressed clearly, though a few comparisons could be more fully highlighted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and then details about the sectors. The figures are generally presented in chronological order, and transitions such as “However” and “By comparison” help signal contrasts. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear. The overview sentence beginning “while retail and healthcare…” runs into “having said that,” making the relationship between the trends difficult to follow. The retail discussion also ends with “to reaching its peak,” without clearly stating the final value, and the paragraph shifts between sectors without consistently grouping related comparisons. Use complete, clearly punctuated sentences and connect the end-point figures across sectors to strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “employed,” “leading sector,” “dropped,” and “remaining constant,” so the main trends are understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “a consistently change,” “positive change in employment growth,” and “dropped down.” There are also spelling errors, including “manufacturung,” “manfacturing,” and “approximateky,” which reduce the impression of control. Some phrases repeat general terms such as “number” and “employment” rather than using precise trend language. Aim for accurate collocations and proofread spelling; alternatives such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “remained stable” would make the description more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including comparisons with “compared with” and a contrast introduced by “By comparison.” The meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “In 1980, the number … has risen” uses an unsuitable tense for a past chart; “retail sector shows a consistently change” has a faulty noun phrase; and “then fall down” does not maintain the past-tense pattern. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: the overview begins “while” after a full stop, and several clauses are joined awkwardly. Use past simple consistently for the historical data and check agreement, articles, and clause structure. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentences clearer.

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