Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given illustration provides the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, among the four sectors manufacturing have the highest number of jobs in 1980 while agriculture has the least number of jobs in same year. Furthermore, retail and healthcare have the same number of jobs in 2020.

Firstly, manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 after that it climb up to 20 million at its peak then dropped drastically to its lowest around 12 million jobs. in addition, healthcare had around 2 million jobs in 1960 which is also the lowest among four sectors in that year. Then it rised steadily over the years reaching 15 million jobs in 2020.

Moreover, retail and agriculture started at same ground at about 6 million jobs in 1960 but over the years their number of jobs took different path. While retail jobs rise steadily, agriculture was declining. By the end of 2020, retail had the same number of jobs as healthcare but agriculture had the least number of jobs of just about 1 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You provide a clear overview of key patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980, agriculture is the smallest sector by 2020, and retail and healthcare finish at similar levels. Most of the main trends are reported accurately, including manufacturing’s rise and subsequent fall and the contrasting directions of retail and agriculture. However, some figures are imprecise: manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not around 12 million, and agriculture is about 2 million in 2020 rather than 1 million. The overview also says agriculture is lowest in 1980, although healthcare is lower then. The main features are relevant, but these inaccuracies and the limited comparison of the sectors’ changing rankings keep the account from being more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by two paragraphs describing the trends. Grouping manufacturing with healthcare, then retail with agriculture, gives the reader a useful way to follow the data. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “While” help signal progression and contrast. However, some connections are mechanical, and the overview’s claim about agriculture being the lowest in 1980 does not align clearly with the later detail that healthcare began at the lowest level. The phrase “after that” also joins stages rather loosely. Make comparisons more explicit within each paragraph and use references that clearly identify the year and sector to strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “peak,” “dropped,” “steadily,” and “declining.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and “took different path” attempts to express a useful contrast. Some word choices and collocations are imprecise or informal, however: “started at same ground” is not a natural way to describe equal starting figures, while “dropped drastically” overstates a fall from 20 to 13 million. There is also repetition of “number of jobs” and “jobs” where more varied phrasing could help. Aim for precise, conventional chart language, such as “began at the same level,” “fell,” and “employment in the sector,” while checking that the strength of a descriptor matches the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including the contrast clause “While retail jobs rise steadily, agriculture was declining” and the sentence beginning “which is also the lowest.” The overall meaning is generally clear, but some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “manufacturing have” should be “manufacturing had,” “it climb up” should be “it climbed,” and “it rised” should be “it rose.” The sentence beginning “in addition” starts with a lowercase letter, and “at same ground” also lacks an article, though the phrase itself is primarily a vocabulary issue. Keep past-tense forms consistent when describing the completed period and proofread sentence openings and agreement.

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