Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the graph shows the inforamtion about number of jobs in four sectors like healthcare,agriculture,retail and manufacturing in the US berween 1960 and 2020

firstly, the jobs in healthcare in 1960 was very low as compared to 1980 it was incerased to 5millions and in 2000 it increased to12 million and in 2020 the jobs was increasing significantly to 16 million.the other sector was agriculture in agriculture jobs are decreasing by yera to year in graph it cam be shows that in 1960 the jobs in agriculture are 6 million but in 1980 its was decreased to 3 million also same in 2000 but in 2020 the jobs rate are decreased to 2 million only. the third sector is shown in graph is retail, it can be shown in the graph the jobs in retail can be increasing year to year in 1960 it was about 6 million,in 1980 it was 10 million and in 2000 it was 15 million and in 2020 it was about 16 million.the last sector is manufacturing in manufacturing the jobd sre up and doen in 1960 to 1980 it was increasing but in 1980 and 2000 its low rates of job.from the graoh it can be shows that among four sectors thr reatil and health care is providing more jobs as compared to other two sectors the low rates pf job among these sectors are agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and report several relevant figures, including healthcare rising from about 2 million to 16 million and agriculture falling from 6 million to 2 million. You also recognise that retail and healthcare become the largest sectors by 2020. However, the response lacks a clear, concise overview of the main patterns, and some key information is incomplete or inaccurate. Manufacturing is described only as rising and then falling, without its figures (15, 20, 17 and 13 million), while healthcare in 2000 is given as 12 million rather than approximately 11 million. The final comparison is also unclear: retail and healthcare are tied at about 16 million in 2020. A stronger response would summarise the overall trends first, then support them with accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a generally understandable order, discussing healthcare, agriculture, retail and manufacturing, and uses basic sequencing phrases such as “firstly,” “the third sector” and “the last sector.” This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, the writing is presented as one long paragraph, so the overview and detailed comparisons are not clearly separated. Repeated wording such as “it can be shown in the graph” and frequent use of “and” make the progression mechanical, while some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the final sentence moves from the largest sectors to the lowest without a clear comparison. Grouping rising sectors together and declining sectors together, with a separate overview, would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic vocabulary to identify the subject and describe basic trends, including “increased,” “decreasing,” “jobs” and “sectors.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “the jobs rate,” “low rates of job” and “up and doen.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “inforamtion,” “berween,” “yera” and “graoh,” which reduce the clarity and polish of the report. Some expressions, such as “providing more jobs,” are less suitable for describing figures than “employing more people.” Practise accurate spelling and use a wider set of precise trend terms, such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “peaked” and “remained stable.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect information in longer sentences, but sentence structures are mostly simple or joined with “and,” and errors occur frequently. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent: “the jobs … was very low” and “the jobs rate are decreased” should use plural agreement or a different construction. Tense and verb forms are also faulty in phrases such as “it was increased” and “the jobs was increasing.” Articles and sentence boundaries are often missing, and punctuation is limited, making some sentences difficult to process. For example, the opening sentence needs clearer punctuation and a more controlled structure. Build accuracy first with short comparative sentences, then practise combining them using clauses such as “while” and “whereas.”

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