Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below gives information about the number of vaccinces in [milloins] four diffrent categaries of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

In the 1960 the manufacturing of jobs is around 15 millions, they are slightly rose 20 millions in 1980,but they are not remains constant, they are falling down over the time in 2020 there are 13 millions jobs.While the Reatil jobs are demonds is high n every years, in 1960,they have just 6 millions , but time to time ,jobs are climb in 2020 ,they cross 15 millions.

Healthcare vaccinces are also in a demands. They also magnifincante change in the start they have just 2 million , they are also rose in daily routines. At the end Reatail and Healthcare are at the same point in 2020 . And agriculture are fall down day by day in the start over 6 millions. now just .5 million job they have.

Over all Reatail and healthcare jobs are raise in daily routine, which demands is very high. While Manufacturing is fall down over the time. And also Agriculture also fall v down like falling to earth

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, while retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. You also compare retail and healthcare at the end. However, some reported details do not match the graph: agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 0.5 million, and retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, rather than merely crossing 15 million. The overview is present but vague, and the opening incorrectly describes the figures as “vaccinces” rather than jobs. To strengthen the response, give a clear overview of the key ranking changes and support it with accurate figures, including healthcare’s rise from about 2 to 16 million.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from manufacturing and retail to healthcare and agriculture, followed by a concluding overview. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are joined in long, loosely punctuated sentences, such as “they are slightly rose 20 millions in 1980,but they are not remains constant.” Linking phrases such as “while,” “but,” and “at the end” are attempted, but their use is sometimes awkward or repetitive. Improve clarity by grouping each sector’s figures in a consistent order and using separate sentences for the starting point, trend, and final value.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “falling down,” “demonds,” and “magnifincante change.” These attempts show awareness that the task needs language for increases and decreases, but frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices make several phrases hard to understand. “Vaccinces” is repeatedly used where the chart concerns jobs, and expressions such as “falling to earth” are unsuitable for a formal data summary. The vocabulary is also repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “jobs” and “rise.” Build a reliable set of accurate trend verbs and collocations, and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You try to connect ideas with clauses using “while,” “but,” and “and,” but sentence structures are often faulty, and errors frequently make relationships between figures unclear. For example, “they are slightly rose 20 millions” has an incorrect verb form, while “they are not remains constant” combines incompatible verb structures. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals, and agreement, as in “In the 1960” and “Retail and healthcare jobs are raise.” Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and several run-on sentences. Practise accurate simple past forms for historical data, then combine them into shorter, controlled sentences.

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