Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates employments among four categories of manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall,manufacturig remain dominant among all four sectors. While retail and healthcare demonstrates the unintrepputed growth and healthcare department experience the downfall throughout the period.

Manufacturing sector started with 15 million jobs opportunites in 1960 which peaked to 20 million in 1980 than start declined and end with 13 million in 2020. While agriculture department stats with 6 million employments in 1960 which reduced to rougly 3 million in 1980 and end up with only 2 million jobs in 2020.

However, retail started with only 5 million figure of jobs in 1960 and it shows dramatic growth in 2000 with 15 million opportunites and bypassing the manyfacturing sector and reached to 16 million by 2020. Furthermore, healthcare started with just 2 million jobs in 1960 and rose upto 12 million in 2000 and ends with 16 millions jobs at the end of 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main sectors and report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million in 1980 and its decline to 13 million, as well as agriculture’s fall. However, the overview contains a major contradiction: it says healthcare experienced a “downfall,” although healthcare rose throughout. It also says manufacturing remained dominant overall, but by 2020 retail and healthcare had both reached about 16 million, above manufacturing. Some figures are inaccurate: retail began at about 6 million, not 5, and healthcare was about 11 million in 2000, not 12. The response covers the trends only partly and does not clearly summarise the changing ranking. Make the overview accurate, then compare the sectors at the beginning and end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and the sector-by-sector grouping is generally understandable. However, progression is weakened by the contradictory overview and by transitions that do not always show the relationship between ideas. For example, “However” introduces the retail paragraph without a clear contrast, while “Furthermore” simply adds healthcare information. The repeated use of “While” also makes some comparisons feel mechanically attached rather than fully integrated. Use clearer grouping—for example, compare manufacturing with agriculture, then retail with healthcare—and use linking phrases only when their logical function is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaked,” “declined,” “reduced,” and “rose,” so the reader can usually understand the intended changes. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “employments,” “jobs opportunites,” “started with only 5 million figure,” and “bypassing the manyfacturing sector.” Spelling errors, including “manufacturig,” “unintrepputed,” and “manyfacturing,” are noticeable and reduce precision. Some expressions are also unnecessarily informal or vague, such as “end up with.” Build a more accurate set of chart-description phrases and check spelling carefully; use “employment” or “jobs” consistently and describe comparisons with precise verbs such as “overtook.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “While” and “which,” and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “Manufacturing remain dominant” needs subject–verb agreement, while “retail and healthcare demonstrates” has a plural subject. The overview’s “healthcare department experience the downfall” also has an incorrect verb form and does not express the chart accurately. Several sentences omit necessary articles or use awkward structures, as in “started with only 5 million figure of jobs.” Practise forming complete, controlled sentences with accurate past-tense verbs, and check agreement and articles before adding complex clauses.

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