Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four major sector of the economy in the united states between 1960 and 2020..

Overall,manufactricting sector faced major changes in 60 years while sectors like retail and healthcare remained in surge in all those years while agriculture declined and then remained stagnant after 1980s,

On the first hand,manufactring sector jumped from 15 million jobs to 20 million in 1980s from there on major decline started and numbers dipped to around 14 million in 2020,As for agriculture sudden dip from 5million jobs to around 500,000 in 1980 remained almost stagnant while facing little dips till 2020..

On the other hand,Retailing sector boomed as there was a major surge in industry from 5 million jobs to 10 million jobs in 1980s and reaching upto 16million jobs as of 2020, healthcare also gave plenty of jobs to individuals as initial number was around 300,000 in 1960 after that sudden rise in upcoming years numbers reached 10 million in 2000s and ended with 16 million in 2020 on par with retail sector..

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak and then falls, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare grow. You also make useful comparisons, noting that healthcare and retail finish at similar levels. Several figures, however, are inaccurate: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5 million, and falls to about 3 million by 1980, not 500,000; healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 300,000. The overview also says retail and healthcare “remained in surge,” which is imprecise, since retail grows throughout while healthcare rises especially strongly after 1980. The response covers the task and selects relevant features, but more accurate figures and a clearer overview would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the declining sectors and the growing sectors. This gives the reader a clear route through the information, and phrases such as “On the other hand” signal a contrast. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly “On the first hand,” and the long sentences joined by commas make relationships between details less clear. The overview also combines several trends in one sentence, so the key comparisons are not sharply separated. Use conventional transitions such as “By contrast,” and divide the body into shorter sentences, each focused on a clear trend or comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “declined,” “stagnant,” “surge,” and “dipped,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, several choices are informal or imprecise for an academic graph report: “boomed,” “plenty of jobs to individuals,” and “on the first hand” do not describe the data naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “manufactricting” and “manufactring,” as well as inconsistent capitalization of “United States.” Prefer neutral reporting language and accurate sector names; for example, describe employment as “increased steadily” rather than saying the sector “boomed.” Greater precision and more reliable spelling would strengthen this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the main trends are usually understandable. However, control is uneven: the overview is a sentence fragment or run-on, and several body sentences join independent clauses with commas, as in “from there on major decline started and numbers dipped…” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention: “four major sector” should be plural, and the opening sentence ends with repeated punctuation. Some sentences contain multiple ideas without clear grammatical links, which can make the data harder to follow. Build a more reliable mix of short, accurate sentences and controlled complex structures, checking agreement, articles, and full stops before adding further detail.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.