Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph presents information about the number of jobs available in the US to improve financial status in four sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs offered by manufacturing and agriculture has decreased over time. However, retail and healthcare jobs increased in the last 40 years.

At the beginning, healthcare provided the least number of employment in the US, having the value of roughly 3 million in 1960. The number rose significantly from 5 million in 1980 to around 12 million in 2000. After that, the figure remained stable throughout the period. Similarly, retail had a value of around 5.2 million in 1960, which then increased significantly from 10 million in 1980 to 15 million in 2000. Later, the figure reached the same value as the healthcare sector, roughly 16 million by 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing provided the highest number of jobs, having the figure of 15 million. And, then the figure rose dramatically in 1980, at around 20 million jobs. Despite some increase in the number of jobs, the figure fa

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several important patterns, including manufacturing’s peak at about 20 million in 1980 and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, the response only partially reports the graph: the final discussion of manufacturing is cut off, and agriculture is mentioned only in the overview, with no supporting figures or detail. Some descriptions are also inaccurate. Healthcare rises to about 11 million in 2000 and then continues to around 16 million in 2020, rather than remaining stable; manufacturing declines after 1980, rather than showing an increase. The overview gives a useful broad contrast, but it should accurately summarise all four sectors and be supported by the key changes across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs grouping healthcare with retail and manufacturing separately. Sequencing within the sector descriptions is generally chronological, and phrases such as “At the beginning” and “After that” help guide the reader. However, the final paragraph ends mid-sentence (“the figure fa”), so the account has no completed comparison or conclusion for manufacturing and agriculture. Some linking is also mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “the figure” and “the number.” Improve progression by completing each sector’s trend, then use clear comparisons between the sectors at the start and end of the period. This would make the organisation more complete and the references easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose significantly,” “remained stable,” “increased” and “reached.” These choices make the general subject clear, and terms such as “manufacturing” and “healthcare” are appropriate. Some wording is imprecise or unnatural, however: “jobs available in the US to improve financial status” adds an unsupported purpose, while “provided the least number of employment” is an awkward collocation. “Having the value” and repeated references to “the figure” also limit precision. Choose concise, conventional chart language such as “the number of jobs” and “employment in healthcare,” and vary trend verbs carefully. This will make the descriptions more natural and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You show a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including relative clauses (“which then increased”) and time clauses (“After that”). Most of the meaning is understandable, and the past tense is generally appropriate for the historical data. Some grammatical choices are less controlled: “the least number of employment” has an awkward determiner and noun construction, and “the figure rose dramatically in 1980, at around 20 million jobs” has an unclear sentence pattern. The final sentence is incomplete, which also disrupts grammatical control. Aim to use complete, direct clauses—for example, “Manufacturing employment peaked at 20 million in 1980 before declining”—and check that each sentence has a clear subject and finished verb structure.

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