Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in four sectors: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Retail and healthcare jobs in US have boomed over the period. While, manufacturing and agriculture jobs have declined significantly over the period.

In 1960, retail jobs shared its position with agriculture jobs at above 5 million, while retail jobs by 2000 drastically grew to 15 million, then it marginally grew to just above 15 million in 2020. Healthcare jobs were the least in 1960 at 2.5 million. In 1980, it doubled from 2.5 to 5 million, from there it dramatically grew overtaking manufacturing jobs and reaching at shared 1st position with retail jobs at above 15 million.

Agriculture jobs were above 5 million in 1960. While it dropped to its half by 1980 and kept declining over the period reaching at approximately 2 million jobs in 2020. Manufacturing jobs were the highest in 1960 at 15 million, it kept increasing till 1980 to 20 million. From there it decreased substantially to below 15 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response identifies the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare employment rose, while manufacturing and agriculture declined overall. It also selects relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall to about 2 million by 2020. The account is generally accurate, but a few details are imprecise: retail and agriculture were both about 6 million in 1960, not clearly “above 5 million,” and healthcare reached 16 million in 2020, matching retail rather than merely reaching “above 15 million.” The overview also says manufacturing declined significantly over the whole period, although it first rose before falling. More precise comparisons and a clearer description of the final ranking would make the key features more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear four-part structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The information generally progresses from the overall trends to sector-specific figures, and phrases such as “In 1960,” “In 1980,” and “From there” help signal time changes. However, some links are awkward or mechanical. For example, “While, manufacturing and agriculture…” is an incomplete contrast, and “While it dropped…” begins a fragment rather than connecting smoothly to the preceding sentence. The healthcare and retail details are also combined in a long sentence, making the comparison harder to follow. Use complete linking clauses and group the sectors more deliberately to improve flow and clarity.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “boomed,” “doubled,” “dramatically grew,” and “decreased substantially.” These choices make the main movements clear, and the sector terminology is appropriate. Some expressions are imprecise or do not collocate naturally in this context: “shared its position,” “reaching at shared 1st position,” and “kept declining” could be replaced with more conventional chart language. “Boomed” is also rather informal and stronger than necessary for a measured report. Aim for precise verbs such as “rose,” “overtook,” and “fell,” and use phrases like “jointly ranked highest” when two sectors had the same figure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and more complex forms, including time clauses and contrasts, and the meaning remains clear. However, some grammatical errors recur. The overview has “While, manufacturing…” as a fragment, while “In 1960, retail jobs shared its position” has a mismatch between the plural subject and “its.” In “it doubled from 2.5 to 5 million, from there it dramatically grew,” two independent clauses are joined only by a comma. The phrase “reaching at approximately 2 million” also shows an inaccurate preposition pattern. Check sentence boundaries, subject–pronoun agreement, and clause construction; these corrections would make the varied structures more consistently controlled.

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