Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is the information which shows the number if jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The discussion is about the number of jobs available in the US.

At the first, manufacturing and and agriculture is increses first and then decreases. It means the manufacturing and agriculture is decreases and has fewer number of jobs. They have less scope of jobs in 2020. In the earlier years they has more scope but gradually they slows down.

At the second, retail and healthcare has more scope and has more number of jobs. It means they both has more number of jobs in 2020. People must gone in this field because it has more jobs opportunities and more money to earn. Actually the both fields has more scope in this present years. So the main feature is that in this four sectors manufacturing and agricultures decreases their economy but the retail and healthcare has increases their economy. It also increased the number of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad contrast between manufacturing and agriculture, which decline overall, and retail and healthcare, which grow. However, the account only partially reports the graph: it gives no figures and does not clearly describe the key stages. For example, manufacturing rises to a peak of about 20 million in 1980 before falling, while retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020. Agriculture does not increase at first; it falls from around 6 million to 3 million by 1980, then declines slightly further. The claims about people choosing these fields for more money and having greater job opportunities are not shown by the graph. Focus on accurate trends and comparisons, supported by selected data, rather than speculation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation: the response first discusses manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare, and ends with a general summary. This gives the reader a basic sense of the intended comparison. However, progression is limited, and the repeated frames “At the first” and “At the second” do not clearly guide the reader through changes over time. Several ideas are repeated, such as saying that the latter sectors have “more scope” and more jobs, while links between sentences are sometimes unclear. The two main paragraphs would be more effective if each compared the relevant trends across the years, using clear time markers such as “initially,” “by 2000,” and “by 2020,” followed by a concise overview.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “scope,” “more number of jobs,” and “increases their economy.” Some wording makes the intended meaning difficult to interpret: “manufacturing and agricultures decreases their economy” does not accurately express a fall in employment. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “increses” and “agricultures.” The response does use relevant sector names and basic trend language such as “decreases” and “gradually,” so the topic remains recognisable. To improve, use precise graph vocabulary and natural collocations, for example “employment,” “rose,” “declined,” “reached a peak,” and “the number of jobs,” rather than repeating general phrases about scope.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with limited control of more complex sentence forms. Frequent errors in agreement and verb forms are evident in phrases such as “manufacturing and agriculture is,” “they has,” “they both has,” and “it also increased.” The opening sentence also contains an incorrect construction: “It is the information which shows.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear, although the reader can generally identify the sectors being discussed. Practise forming accurate subject–verb combinations, especially with plural subjects, and use consistent past-tense forms to describe the historical data. A wider range of correctly controlled sentences would make the comparisons clearer.

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