Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates the information of the United States about the job numbers in the four sectors of economy: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in between 1960 and 2020.

It can be said that, manufacturing was the highest job sector throughout the years from 1960 to 2000 but eventually retail and healthcare became the top job sectors as both had risen over the years whereas manufacturing faced a moderate decrease. However, the number of jobs in agriculture job sector never faced a rise eventhough healthcare sector grew significantly.

In the year 1960, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs and on other hand healthcare had the lowest. However, both agriculture and retail job sector had similar amount of jobs available at that time. In the next 20 years, all the sectors except agriculture which faced a decline, had a moderate growth. Moreover, by the year 2000, retail and healthcare sector were growing gradually, agriculture sector more or less remained the same but manucaturing sector faced a major drop.

Overall, in the year 2020, over the time, retail and healthcare sector became the largest job sector with same amount of jobs' availability. Nonetheless, manufacturing job sector kept declining till that time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing starts highest and declines after 1980, agriculture falls overall, and retail and healthcare rise to equal the top position by 2020. The opening overview and the comparisons between 1960 and 2020 are relevant. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: manufacturing was still the largest sector in 2000, so saying retail and healthcare were “growing gradually” by then does not clearly report their relative positions, and the overview’s claim that manufacturing was highest “throughout the years from 1960 to 2000” needs the key qualification that it peaked in 1980. The account also gives few figures to support its comparisons. Select the main turning points and include approximate values to make the trends more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about earlier years and a final comparison for 2020. This makes the main message accessible. However, the progression is not always smooth: the overview already discusses the endpoint, while the final paragraph repeats that retail and healthcare are largest and manufacturing declines. Some linking phrases, such as “However” and “Moreover,” are used mechanically or do not show a clear contrast, and “In the next 20 years” is less precise than naming 1980. Grouping the data into a clear overview followed by two chronological comparison paragraphs, with each paragraph focused on related trends, would improve cohesion and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of topic vocabulary, including “job sector,” “decline,” “grew significantly,” and “remained the same,” so the trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “illustrates” and “eventually.” However, several expressions are awkward or imprecise, including “the information of the United States about the job numbers,” “faced a rise,” and “same amount of jobs’ availability.” The misspelling “manucaturing” also affects accuracy. Choose concise collocations commonly used to describe graphs, such as “the number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell,” and “employment in the sector.” This would make the account more natural and precise without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause in “whereas manufacturing faced a moderate decrease” and a time clause beginning “In the year 1960.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors and awkward constructions persist. For example, “in between 1960 and 2020” uses an unnecessary preposition, and “on other hand” is missing “the.” The sentence beginning “In the next 20 years” has an unclear structure around “all the sectors except agriculture which faced a decline,” while “agriculture job sector” needs a more natural article or plural construction. Review articles, prepositions, and clause boundaries, and aim for consistently controlled comparisons when describing changes over time.

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