Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the Healthcare and Retail sectors show significant growth throughout the period. On the other hand Manufacturing and Agriculture showed a decline between 1960 and 2020.

Initially, the Healthcare industry has 2 million jobs in 1960 and this figure climbed to almost 16 million by 2020. Retail sector has 6 million jobs in starting and this sector showed a rise to 16 million by 2020.

On the other hand Manufacturing industry shows fluctuation, its figure rose up from 15 million to 20 million between 1960 and 1980 and suddenly it declined to almost 13 million by 2020.Agriculture sector showed a decline through out the period from 6 million jobs in 1960 to 2 million jobs in 2020.

In conclusion Helath care and Retail are most popular sectors among all and they show significant growth. Following this manufacturing industry fluctuates a little and declined at the end. The least popular sector was agriculture it shows decline in jobs throughout the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad pattern: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture falls, and you include relevant starting and ending figures. The manufacturing peak of 20 million in 1980 is also accurately reported. This gives the response a clear, relevant account of the graph. However, the overview is not fully precise: manufacturing does not decline throughout, but rises before falling, and retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, making them joint leaders rather than simply “most popular” without qualification. The body also omits useful intermediate comparisons, especially retail’s steady rise and healthcare’s marked growth after 1980. To strengthen the response, describe these stages and compare the sectors’ positions at the end more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to two detail paragraphs and a concluding statement. Grouping the rising sectors together and then discussing manufacturing and agriculture helps the reader follow the main categories. However, progression is weakened by repeating the overview in the conclusion, which adds little new information, and by relying heavily on “On the other hand” to connect contrasting points. Some links between ideas are also awkward: the manufacturing sentence joins several changes with a comma, while “In conclusion” makes the final paragraph sound like an argument rather than a summary of data. Use a more purposeful sequence, avoid repeating the same claims, and connect comparisons directly within the relevant paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the main trends, including “climbed,” “declined,” “fluctuation,” and “jobs.” These choices show some range beyond basic descriptions. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “jobs in starting,” “most popular sectors,” and “fluctuates a little” do not accurately express employment figures or the scale of change. “Significant growth” is repeated, and spelling errors such as “Helath” and “through out” reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language and natural collocations, such as describing employment levels as rising or falling, and use alternatives to avoid repetition. Check spelling carefully, particularly in the final paragraph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including the contrastive structure “On the other hand,” and the sentence describing manufacturing’s rise and subsequent fall. The main information remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Tense is inconsistent when reporting past data: “the Healthcare industry has” and “Retail sector has” should use past forms. Articles are missing in phrases such as “Retail sector” and “in starting,” and the manufacturing sentence is a comma splice. There are also punctuation and spacing problems, including the missing space after “2020.” Use past simple consistently for the historical figures, check articles, and separate linked clauses with a full stop or a suitable conjunction.

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